Scope 4 Improvement.

Triggered by a question "how much is too much?" here I start....

I have always felt n was told by many many many people that I over-do things. Ayushi always gets irritated by my extreme mood swings. There is never a moderation, how so ever hard I try! Yesterday my M.Sc. first year results were finally out after a long time waiting. Since I had already lost 5 of my precious marks by applying for re-evaluation in a subject I considered myself best in, I wasnt expecting too great results this time. I had kinda prepared myself very much well for not seeing my name in the top 10 list. Yeah that was a negative attitude, I agree! Am a very positive person for others but when it comes to myself, there cant be anyone more rude n harsh n bad for myself than me! Am my best critic. With a well prepared heart mind n soul when I was searching my name in the list, starting from the bottom, I was shocked to find it as the 2nd topper. I seriously couldnt believe what I was seeing n started crying. Believe me or not, I saw my result at 11 n till 2 I was sitting in front of the library, Crying unable to believe that am not dreaming! Later when I convinced myself that I have actually scored so well, I went back to the notice board n Ayushi made me feel my marks by placing my fingers on the list.

There when I saw the topper's mark, I found I lost that position by 3 marks. Suddenly I felt, if I hadnt lost those 5 marks, I would have topped with 2 grace marks. Its sad I think like that. I know. But yeah that thought did flash-in for a second n I cant deny that. Though I completely erased it in a jiffy classifying it as a 'negative thought' but yeah it did occur to me for once. Its an irony, few minutes ago a result which looked unbelievable to me suddenly sounded short by 3 marks. Its not that am not satisfied with my marks now, rather am much more than satisfied n kept telling everyone that I scored much more than expected n am very happy. None of the mentioned words r false. But yeah maybe if I had not lost those 5 marks...!!!

Once during a convo with a friend, he asked "Am I expecting too much from her?" The fact was that, he wasnt really... its just that he was expecting an acknowledgment for his acts if not reciprocation n I dont think that will b called 'expecting too much'. But then how do we decide what is 'too much' n wat is not? Say for example in my first yr grad, I scored 74%, if I had convinced myself that its a good mark then probably I would have never scored 90% in 3rd year. I could do that coz I was not satisfied with my marks in first year n wanted to improve. There is always a scope of improvement left in any of our acts. But then if we start improvising big things, wont we miss out on small small things?

There r two choices:

a) be satisfied with what all u r getting
b) run in the rat-race n smell the thrill of achievement.

I dont know which one is better. When it comes to marks n position n status, I have set quite high standards for myself n will always go in for the (b) option but yeah for friends n family n social standards, am very much with option (a).

I was just running a short list of things which I think will come under the category of 'too much'. Lemme jot down :

• Showing concern is Human, but dictating terms... is Too Much!
  

• Misunderstandings happens, but fight... is Too Much!

• Competing is healthy, but harming other... is Too Much!
  

• Having self-confidence is fine, but looking down at others... is Too Much!
  

• Praying to god for good result is obvious, but not studying for that... is Too Much!

• Being innocent is helplessness, but acting idiotic... is Too Much!

• Being flexible to changes is fab, but flowing with the tide always... is Too Much!

• Giving treat is fun, but spending lavishly n wasting food... is Too Much!
  

• Rains are heavenly, but the follow up 12 hr power cut.. is Too Much!
  

• Pulling a friend's leg is enjoyable, but ending up hurting them... is Too Much!
  

• Gossiping is notorious, but back-biting... is Too Much!

• Over speeding in high-way is sure thrill, but same done in a market place... is Too Much!

• Looking at girls is okie, but making them feel like an item for sale... is Too Much!

• Doing a wrong act can be justified, but not feeling guilty for it... is Too Much!

• Helping sumone is noble, but making them dependent... is Too Much!

• Planting a tree is to be encouraged, but not watering it... is Too Much!

• Fever is unfortunate to have, but being made to stick to bed the whole day... is Too Much!

• Studying late night for exams is worth it, but missing out the essential 6 hr sleep... is Too Much!

• Being busy is a fact, but not sparing a sec to reply to a friend's message who bothered to remember u in their good/bad time... is Too Much !

• Getting stuck in traffic jam is unavoidable, but not bothering to inform that to sumone waiting for u... is Too Much!

• Pouring frustation on blog is natural, but attempting to use all the words of English Dictonary on one post... is Too Much! Guess, I wil stop here.