They say “Don’t cry over split milk”. Okkkk Fine! Am not gonna cry now… am a brave girl… I can face disappointments... there must be some way out… It can’t all get over so easily… damn it! My life it at sake… I can’t b kidding around!!!
Its as if it just happened yday… the picture is still crystal clear in front of my eyes… me n Ayushi getting out of the metro station happily singing “Yaaron dosti” n chit chatting… I telling her one of the story I wrote long time back… giggling... happily… least concerned about the world around… entered the Department of Physics n Astrophysics (the place where I study) with so much grace n confidence as usual… happily greeting a bunch of our seniors who stopped by to pass compliments on my brand new pink top….
There as a usual day we went around to the notice board to see if something important is there n suddenly the crowd there froze both of us! Wat r so many ppl doing here? Whats so imp? Its hardly 2 months since college started… there isn’t any examination dates to be announced… whats so interesting? With all the thoughts pouring our minds, we both caught hold of a girl who seemed to have had a look on what the onlooker’s r seeing n with great efforts managed her way out of the crowd. Me with my usual excitement in voice asked her wats going on n in reply she gave me a big smile n said “Congratulations!”
Err?? For what?? Me n Ayu shared confused looks n were still amazed to find out that she wasn’t the only one who cared to congratulate me for something I still don’t know… there were many… I was still struggling to get a look into the notice board to find out exactly what am being congratulated for. After a good struggle for a few minutes I found my first internal assessments marks of ‘Quantum mechanics’ there hanging out in the notice board… never knew it wil b displayed like this… the whole list… in my undergrad colg, they used to show answer sheet to individual students n not like this, displayed to the whole world to c…!!
My heart skipped beats when I found my marks… sure it was worth the congratulations I was receiving n I was so happy that day!! And what pleased me more was the conversations I overheard… ppl were looking out for this girl named Shruti n hello! I was just standing there… that was a moment! An instant stardom! Ppl wanted to know who I am… I was no more one of the 200, I was ‘d one in 200!’
Ever since Quantum mechanics became my favorite subject… when I gave the final exam on this subject n came out of the examination hall, I was grinning like anything… happily telling everyone that I have excelled it n am expecting at-least 30 outta 35 this time!
But then when I got my results, I saw in my mark sheet - internals : 14/15, finals: 19/35.
Couldn’t have been less disappointed but then I had an option of giving for re-evaluation. Without a second thought, I went for it. Damn! Y didn’t anybody stop me there!!! Damn! Damn! Damn!!!
Today my re-evaluation results came out. And they say now my marks will be read as ‘14’ instead of ‘19’. Hell! Now when I go back to college, all those who now know who ‘Shruti’ is will come to me to take their ‘congratulations’ back… no am not really concerned much about the lost stardom.. who cares for that… but then I lost my position n 5 marks!!! 5 marks rnt just 5 marks here… its almost 5%!!!!!! I was one of the top 5 in my Dept… now I hope to find myself in top 10…!! Damn! Damn. Never expected this will be happening to me… god!!! Pls give me a magic wand!! I’ll be going to college on Monday to ask if I can apply ‘re-evaluation’ to the ‘re-evaluated’ marks... lets c what they say… but then I seriously donno if I should go for it again… what if it again reduced my marks?? I cant really take it anymore!!!!
.jpe)
12 comments:
Oh sweti, I'm sooo sorry to hear that !! But don't worry , what goes down Much come up and vice versa . Take this as a challenge and Do better.
As far as Others are concerned, TRUST me, Even if someone Does care now, Years down the line, those 5 % , postion, 5 marks Don't make Any difference... In the end it's your work and personality that stand out !!! So chin up and get back to work ...
Cheers,
adisha
soo schoo saad!!!
suna hey ye famous dialogue: "Kabhi kabhi kuch jeetne ke liye kuch harna bhi padta hai. Aur haar kar jeetne walon ko Baazigar kehte hain, kya kehte hain? Baazigar."
So same advice as above chin up sruti and back to work!!
cheers!!
@ d 2 angels abv - seriously guys.. it feels so good when a booster dose cums up! but i need sum time.. i'll do better but am not gonna leave this so easily. i'll giv again for re-evaluation if it applies. am a fighter n i'll fight! am gonna spin the 'wheel of possibility'! just giv me 1 more week to finish off with my 'sokh sabha' n then it wil b 'chin up n back to work'
Really sorry for that..but like u rightly say...its time to move on..Optimistically look forward for the coming days...
And as for ur writing skills, must say you are one of the very very few writers who is so straight forward in speaking your heart out.
I went thru your introduction, and this post...both are amazing and talk straight to the point.
Keep it up...Looking forward for more "Straight from the Heart" entries!
oh dear thats too bad but I guess you had to take a chance the marks could hve gone up.Never mind better luck next time.
http://cutestangel.wordpress.com/
@ Viyoma - ah! am not supposed to smile here in this post according to the title I hav given but then ur comment sure made me show my 27 teeth (I counted so many times... donno when I'll get the full 32 set on!) Well I havent really received such great comments much n that too never from the 'first visits' but am overwhelmed. As a matter of fact, in person too am straight forward but then I dont talk much... but I truly liv in my blog... my world!! all my posts r always 's8 from heart' but then u gotta wait till sumthing 'happening' happens in my life ;)
clicked on ur profile.. glad to know u too call ur blog ur world... same pinch on that. my server was slow so was taking a little long, i got impatient n closed fd window but I promise to check in soon :)
@ Angel - well yeah right... if it had cum out the way I expected, I would have topped! Damn!
aww cmon. mebbe its a disappointment, but why shud it be "SAD DAYS" for a long time? Cheer up
Oh really!! i was never aware ur results are out. Boy hard to digest "U" slipped!! Well hope u know how to handle urself,there will always be another chance to prove urself.
Ups and downs always go hand in hand,after all marks are not the only benchmark to prove ur capability in an area.gud luk on the reval thing!!
Revaluation is sick...one of my friend who had applied for re-val cos he got just passing marks, actually failed in the re-valued paper!! Sad indeed!! :(
Sorry to hear about what happened with ya!!
@ CRD - it wont b thr for long.. new post cuming up soon :)
@ Karthick - ah! if my results were out u would have gotten a mail thr in ur inbox wouldnt hav waited for u to go thru my blog but then this wasnt the 2nd sem result.. its d re-evaluated result of a 1st sem paper.. u seriously sound over-worked :D n yeah I know how to handle myself well enuf n u wil agree on that ;)
@ Sree - this system I tell u!! its sick! i still dont understand how could they reduce 5 marks out 35 in a re-evaluation! its almost 15%!! god knows what they evaluated the first time!! its really unfortunate... never gonna take such risks again in life... ever!
I understand how important this DR thing is for you considering your plans for NET. I know how much effort you have put into this thing over the past couple of years and it may seem so repetitive after all the other comments but i think hard work always pays off and there is no doubt in my mind that you are gonna make it ! !
@ Rama - Thanks re... wat u said means a lot to me!
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