The following is not really my style of blogging but then am feeling a little lazy to polish the chit-chat in a paragraph format... so I'll b pasting the convo directly from saved chats.
This was a small part of a chat I had with Karthick yday after a long time.... He got to a new job last week n is keeping very busy these days.... It was almost a week when I caught him online yday... One of the very few Intellectuals I have cum across, a very close friend n a good guy! Met him through Blogger but all the chats n emails made him a 'reality in this virtual world'. His blog speaks for him so I don't need to do it here (karthickspeaks.blogspot.com). No post for long time, as I said, Busy Bee with new job!
Hey Karthick, am taking u for granted here ;)
10:16 PM me: i was just wondering
y do irls hav to leave thir house after marriage?
*girls
Karthick: bcoz..theey have to look after the grooms family..
and the grrom also..
10:17 PM me: isnt it so damn unfair?
Karthick: well..
me: must b sum guy who made this damn rule
Karthick: there is another pioint also..
ur parents cant kepp u for ever..
so got to stay with him.
finnaly after them he is the one who is goin to take care of u.
10:18 PM me: well
y is it that my prents cant keep me with them forever
when 'his' parents wil b keeping him with them forever
10:19 PM Karthick: well..wat happens after urs and his parents..
he is the one for u..
so it just better quoted u stay with their family.
its not biased in any way.
me: wait a min
y cant i b the one for him
after his parents
i mean
10:20 PM y should i b the one leaving?
Karthick: is there any problm for u..??
me: ofcourse
i got a lovely family here
my mom my dad my bro
my pc
my study room
my bed
my house
my kitchen
eveytheing is mine
i chose things
10:21 PM i decorated d house
i have my choice here eveyrwhere
i liv in each thing in my house
n suddenly one day i have to say a gud bye to all this?
damn
Karthick: dont u want a change.
life..always moves on..
10:22 PM u cant staganate...cant reamin a kid for ecer.
me: y cant guys have that very change?
Karthick: ever.
me: u r biased buddy
u taking the male side now
Karthick: yeah...i am a guy.
10:23 PM ;)
u finnaly got tht one.
me: hee hee
men n their egos!
phw!
10:24 PM Karthick: yeah..yeah..if wen dint have tht much..hw to survie with grls.
me: but girls do survive well enuf without that
:)
dont get into a war of words on this topic
Karthick: yeah..
me: i hav a good exp on this topic
Karthick: better..
me: u wil lose
:p
10:25 PM Karthick: let things happen the way they r..
it always nice.
me: contoversial line!
but then let it b
Karthick: am conservative shennaite rember..
chennaite..
so..i wud lways like things my way.
me: mine talkign to u on this wont get me a guy who agrees to liv with me in my house n not to take me away
10:26 PM well ya
typical!
probably my next blog topic
:D
10:27 PM Karthick: i will always want my girl to be in my house..
give my mom a break..
she is wroking so much for us..
let my girl share some resposiblity as well.
me: ah! wat abt the girls mom?
who wil help her out
u dont care for that aa?
10:29 PM anyways
We switched over to a lighter subject but then I have always hated this rule of girls needing to leave their house n their family for sumone who doesn't need to do all that.
Personally speaking, I have a family so so so good that if god had asked me to create my own parents, I wouldn't have done a finer job! Last week when I was low, that evening suddenly dad got ice-cream n cold drink n said we will mix them up n have... something which I always suggest n they used to classify 'yucks!'... my off moods will make my parents go down... they r so lovely so caring... they let me do things my way... not always but then I understand when they stop me... they care a hell lot. Very protective. When I'll b studying late nights for exams there sitting in my study room with door closed, mom dad will b sitting out in the sofa waiting for me to come out of the study room... they r the kind of parents who asks me y I bother to study so much when I can easily b playing around n have 'fun'... they rnt the one who says y u didn't score first class rather they say y do u bother so much about ur marks!
"My dad's purse is my open ATM", he never asks me y I need money or how much I need nothing... take as much as u want is what he says... needn't even ask! But then its me who keep a note by his purse whenever I take out money from that. My regular readers would have noticed mine talking of my mom in almost every second post of mine that coz I worship her... truly... honestly... from the bottom of my heart! Couldn't have asked for more ever! My bro... d stupid innocent idiot who by default comes n hands over his salary cheque to me every month! At-times when I imagine myself away from my house, my family, my world... living out there with some god damn stranger... I feel can there really exist some 'heart-less' creature who will be so damn heartless to take me away??!!
.jpe)
20 comments:
Wow. Seems like you've a wonderful family out there for you. And it's nice to see that you don't take them for granted at all. Not many people are that grateful to their families. Girl, you are amazing. Believe me, if you are lucky to have such a family, they are also lucky to have you.
Aparajita has said it beautifully and I agree totally. The luckiness is mutual where ur family is concerned.
Well, dear the thing is in today's world it's usually that the girl and guy move out, so it's not just the gals who leave their parents behind.
And trust me, the pleasure of making up your own home for yourself and making your own way of living, becoming independent, with a loved one, is a different feeling all together.
The reason why gurls used to go out of their homes was as Karthick said, that the elders needed to be cared for. That unfortunatley cannot happen these days as jobs take both youngsters away from their homes.
If you do want to care for your parents, and are worried about them after you leave, make sure you have a nice job so after you get married you can at least pamper them nicely, taking care of them from far. And remember to call often and keep in touch. That's what all parents want more than anything ...
As far as your personal comfort goes, a married home is Always 80 % how the gurl keeps it, so you are rest assured you can decide the kind of home you want to live in ... Even if it's in someone else's home, you'll have ur own room ,as you have now :) so there !!!
ps - Thank you sooo much for your lovely comments to my blog yesterday. I was smiling and giggling reading it and you really made my day ... My hubby was laughing seeing my expressions and I read the comment to him as well, and he too was touched that I mean so much to someone ...
Thank you dear ... and I Am here for u ...
hey
this is my first visit to ur blog.. n i cant help saying that u r a real sweetheart :)
hmmm..i have recently got engaged n for as many yrs as i can imagine i have voiced, n pretty boldly,the same words..why shud "we" the girls do everythng.. leave home... i too have a wonderful family... cant thank god enough for giving me so much.. but u knw Shruti..when u fall in love.. u want to do all that for a guy..u want to take care of him..make aa hearth for him..be a mother urself who ur kids can be as proud of as u r of ur mum... n to tell u very honesty onle we the women have the capacity to do so much..even make a new home..so we get to do it..men rnt blessed with so much as we r.. don look at it this way that u r leaving..look at it as u r going to make one more home urs.. to adorn it with wat ur parents have given u.... love unconditionally..we have the capacity to do it... n for all u knw the guy u marry may be living away frm home working in an alien land or city... its beautiful being a woman.. make a nest with him... people r more precious than our room, desk bed... lets befriend people n thngs shall follow :)
am completely bowled out! never expected these kinda comments while writing! damn surprised!
@ Aparajita - me grinning from ear to ear! seriously! thanks so much!
@ Adisha - I dont really know how much I agree to all that but I understood one thing, I need to grow up little more n faster. Perhaps things rn't really as bad as I have imagined but then I still would sumhow prefer a way out by which I dont need to leave my parents.
well with my studies still on, I have a couple of years to worry about that now but then I just wanted to prepare myself before hand. Like it happened last week, my dad offered me to get a car to go to college but I rejected his offer right away coz there is probably no guarantee if I could ever pay him back for that! Even if I earn well, is there a guarantee that I wil b allowed to spend on my parents n will be allowed to take care of my bro? U c my bro is a special child, he is dyslexic so he needs more care n attention than normal children... I just want to be with him, I wanna take his responsibility after my parents, which I dont know if I wil b allowed to take. I just find it disgusting to think I'll need to depend on someone so much for my life. Wish I were allowed to take care of my life my way, alone. I beelive in myself more than anyone else... how so ever special that person mayb... never can b as spl as am to myself!
p.s. hee hee... am so glad i could bring a smile on ur face! what more can I wish for! keep smiling sweety!! n thanks!
@ Nups - lets befriend ppl... wat a novel thought! thanks for ur visit girl! I feel honored when praised :D
well yeah I have heard lotsa goody goody things about love n personally speaking, I wouldnt really mind to spend years with d one I love n do things like caring for his family... n cooking for him... n all that is expected from a homely girl! But then what I dont agree is to leave sumone u love for sumone u love. can u ever tell me who u love more? ur parents or ur wouldb hubby? thay say love is unconditional so putting a condition like leaving d family alone, how wil that b justified??
well... certain things can't b changed overnite so there is really no point in talking about what is right or wrong but then its just a thought process n exchange of thoughts doesnt harm anyone!
n hey! congrats on ur engagement... hope u have a very happy n bright life ahead n do keep in touch with ur family ;) thanks for ur visit... I'll b visiting soon!
Yes, I guess you have some way to go to maturity but these days of innocence are also good trust me. Like I've said before it's wonderful that you're close to home, studying and all ...
It's wonderful that you think about your dad's expenses and are careful even with the liberties he grants you. And that you love your family and bro so much to want to take care of them, specially him ...
Which is why your reply upset me. What in the WORLD do you mean " Will I be allowed to spend on my parents or bro ? " In today's day and age, if a girl talks like that then you have no one to blame but you. Your life is yours. What you do with it is your own. If you Let others dictate your decisions and actions, then it's just ..... sad is the nicest thing I can say. When you get married , you choose a man who understands you, your priorities, your feelings. You do NOT decide to spend the rest of your life with someone who tells you, you cannot care for your family ... Such a person will NOT care for you even. No one can be special like you, but you will Certainly find people who'll support you in your desires and that's All you need .
Sheesh gurl !!! Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship ... :p Whoever told you otherwise ??
That's the best part of about a good marriage, you can do Everything that you couldn't do in your own home and more since your partner is the person who understands you and your dreams and helps you conquer all. Don't fall in love with someone whose not willing to catch you.
When I was engaged to my hubby, I told him, my brother is my first child. He's my responsibility and other than my parents there is my aunt who I love a lot. She has no children. And should any of these people ever need me, I Will take care of them to the best of my abilities. And I trust that if something happens to me, I'm Sure he'll do his best to be there for him as well. Touch wood !!! that's love sweti ... muaaaaaaaaahzzz. Take care ... Take control !!!
Well, guess u made use ur resources(I meant the granted thing).I was quite desperate to look into the comments page to see if had good degree of feminine opposition to wat i was talking abt, i was atleast expecting some one to say,"hang that guy",i was surprised to see the comments go with my wave,guess things will get more obvious for u when u get more intimate with the situation rather than having a birds eye discussion.Anyway u made me have my heart in my mouth for a min..hee hee..
@ Adisha - well truly speaking I realized one thing, mayb am a little too young to talk on this topic. Prob not by age but then I know am pampered so much n cared so much about that prob never got a chance to grow!
U know wat Adisha, as i said that day in ur blog that I see u as my elder sis coz of this only! U always explain things so nicely that I just keep nodding sitting this side. well as far as mine saying "wil i b allowed" is concern, the fact is i have never really seen my mom spending on her family ever. Its not that dad wont allow... i dont know really... prob she never asked. in my house, both my parents r in govt service n wil b getting pension n they dont really need me to support them financially ever. n even my bro is sumhow managing with work n studies n he wil also settle in financially in a couple of yrs to pass by... i just want to b with them... dont wanna go away.. even for a single day!
i must confess my perceptions about Marriage kinda went for a googly when i read all this... probably the world other side is not really that bad ofcourse if i get the 'right' guy! am so glad u got the right one for urself. probably if i come back to this page n these comments after a couple of years when the 'real' time cums, i might get to understand.
i actually honestly read ur comment 5 times... word to word.. carefully... cant say didnt understand ur points, i did! I promise to take control :)
@ Karthick - precisely why i said i never expected these kinda comments.. like u, i too expected sumthing to ur opposition... esply from the females out thr n surprisingly, all those who commented r females n all in ur favour! boy! I knew u wont mind mine displaying ur name n being so blunt, rather i thought if sumone goes so much against u that might make u feel bad then i wont approve that comment n surprisingly, i didnt get any such thing! one thing i realized... i need to grow up! cant remain a kid for ever!
Shruti,
Sorry for being late in posting my comments. I wanted to read all available posts before saying anything. Good account of friendships in college. I think all of us have some superstition or the other but donot wish to acknowledge. Stop blowing money as 20 years old girl. Best of luck for CSIR-NET examination. We have a good PHYSICIST in the making. Donot feel let down by less marks than expected, look into yourself to find reasons. Overconficence? I will not say much on this post as Adisha and Nups have already said what I may have. I will only add that if you find time read " Strength of a family " posted by me sometime ago. A house is made into HOME by the lady of the house.
Thanks for you visit and I have replied.
Take care
@ Jack - guess ppl hav pledged to stump me down in this perticular post of mine.. all d comments r surprise! surprise ! surprise! here is one more!! gosh! u gave a summery of all the recent posts... phew!
frdships r always spl, worth blogging!
i didnt quite mind accepting my beliefs n ideas.
sure pledged not to try those things again. waste of money, i agree!
thanks! thanks! i need lotsa wishes! never know which one wil work ;)
Physicist... well yeah... *blushing*
overconfidence? no i dont agree.. i had belief in myself. it was just unfortunate to have happened.
sure, i'll get to that post of ur very soon. just gimme sum time, busy with hell lot of work this tym.
My dad's purse is my open ATM,
quote it.
___
Hey as always..nice write up.YOu have a very good way of handling sensitive subjects.
Very sensible and level headed gurl you are.
Fantastic..and Fantastic work
Iam humbled..subject
nice reading.. sorry for being so tardy !
First of all i have to agree that you write well especially considering the exact recollection of minor events that people like me generally miss out on.
As far as the differences between the genders go, i agree with everything Karthick and nups mentioned.. they sum it up for both the sides quite well !
well sometimes after reading your blogs, i realize how ingenuous/innocent you still are, guess i miss that feeling stuck in the rat race.
Hey Rama!! I got tired of waiting n had almost given up on u! U too bowled me out completely today... commented on 8 posts! I was surprised, shocked, stunned, amazed, frozen n happy to c my inbox so full of ur comments. Well u made me feel a little guilty for sending u all those rude n stupid mails... Am really really Sorry!!! I understand u r busy n I truely appreciate the time u took for me. I know every sec counts n u spared so much time for me. Cant ever thank u less for that! Really touched!
I wont b re commenting on all those comments u left, mayb one day we can have a talk on all that.. when we both r flooded with time ;) But then for this one, I was pleased to know that I write well... U saying means, I sure do write well n am smiling for that! Well yeah u had to lose ur innocence.. guys cant survive with innocence after school days but then u lost it earlier! mayb a part of growing up, sumthing which I still have to achieve!
@ Sorcerer - Quoted :D ah! am pleased with the praises ;) didnt get to hear much in this post. thanks so much!
Wow!!! Someone seems to be in full josh!!!
But, honestly, I feel Karthick's right... That's how things have been & that's how they seem to fit in well :)
Anyway, I don't need to worry about all this for now... After all, how many kids worry about marriages ;)
Well anyone believe me or not i always wondered, if a girl can come leaving her family after marriage, how much the guy should be supportive of her and love her giving freedom, understanding, adjustments and mutual respect.
Every white has its black, and every sweet its sour.
This is a fantastic view of the situation, I don’t think I’ve quite seen it from that perspective before.
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