It Hurts !!!!!!

I can’t see u with her… I cant … I cant … I cant!! I know it’s a part of ur profession but I mean at least not with her kindda girls … I was crazy for u coz u are so sensible and mature and balanced … y the hell did u agree to work with a girl like Mallika!!! It hurts to see u both together … laughing and talking … oh Rahul… after all y did u agree to work with her?? I know I should not criticize somebody but everyone knows what kindda girl this Mallika is!! And I know what kindda person u r… then why did u ever agree to work with her?? U know, it is always a pleasure watching u on screen… but when I saw the trailers of ur latest movie “Pyar ke side/effects” I wished that it wasn’t u and that I was dreaming!!! Hey Rahul… what made u sign a movie with that b*t** ???

U know something… I never ever liked watching movies and I actually used to wonder as of from where do people get so much patience to sit and watch a crap for 3 hrs!!! I never had the guts to watch horror movies!! Yeah am confessing it to u… I cant watch horror movies coz even a shreeky scream is good enough to scare the hell out of me and the very word “horror movie” is pretty horrifying!!! Romance I never liked... I mean what bloody shit man! And our good Hindi movies family dramas… yucks! They r far far far away from my tolerance!! English movies… well action I don’t like, fictions are too much stupid and imaginative that I cant enjoy!!! But with all these differences with the “movie industry” I always liked ur movies… they r different… esply 15 Park Avenue and Mr.and Mrs. Iyer!! My all time favorites… I don’t know if it is coz of u or coz of ur movie’s theme, that I like ur movies.

U r the best dear!! And am crazy for u!!!! I have lods of pictures of urs.. something which is so much typical of FAN’s … I know u have lots of them!! U deserve them!! U know something… the one thing that really really impresses me a lot abt u is ur attitude to work!! Ur acting is so damn casual but still so much demanding and powerful! And the one line that u said on the occasion of “Woman’s day” that .."I dont need a women's day to wish/celebrate it..more so I realized working with women like Konkana Sen, Shabana Azmi and Waheeda Rehman, all on one set!!" well that took away my heart!!! Hey dear… I don’t doubt ur decisions rather I was always proud to say that u r my fav!! But this time … movie with that Mallika … gosh! U can’t imagine how difficult it is for me to face my friends now … u shouldn’t have done that! I am afraid people are gonna watch the movie to c her and not to admire u!!! Nevertheless, be rest assured … am there to watch the movie and not for her but for u …

Balle Balle !!

Am back from Punjab just a few days ago so thought of just writing down the experience of the trip! Sardars were my all time favorites !! 90% of jokes in India are Sardar jokes and in America, blonds r the poor victims!! I always felt “y only Sardars always???” for this my dad once told me a story...

'It so happened once that there was a Sardar’s meeting and all Sardars were discussing on why its always them, the poor victims?? They came to know that there is a guy Mr.Jhonson in America, who write jokes on Sardas and distribute that. So these people decided in that conference that they will go and ask Mr.Jhonson directly as of why he makes fun of Sardars?? But then they thought that (yeah they can think!!) its not possible for all of them to go so they elected a representative.. Mr.Banta Singh. So one fine day Banta Singh got ready to leave to America and all the Sardars were there in the airport to see him off and to wish him luck! Now our Banta Singh landed safe and next day went to meet Mr.Jhonson who was glad to receive him. After some general talks, Banta Singh came to the point and asked Mr.Jhonson, “what is ur problem with my community and y do u always make fun of us??” for this Mr.Jhonson smiled and said, “Banta Singh ji, I will stop making jokes on if u can answer my question!”. Ofcourse our hero agreed confidently and the question asked was “in my house there are four people, my wife, my son and my daughter are 3 of then. Who is the fourth person??” now this zapped up Banta Singh. He didn’t knew so he asked permission to discuss it with his frds and came back to India and put up the same question “in my house there are four people, my wife, my son and my daughter are 3 of then. Who is the fourth person??” Now all Sardars r thinking … harder … harded … but they don’t know! Finally after 1 week of serious thinking when they didn’t get the answer, they sent back Banta Singh to find out the answer and to accept their defeat. With a very heavy heart our Bantaji left for America and apologized to Mr.Jhonson for bothering him. But before leaving he asked for the answer and Mr.Jhonson said that the fourth person was “him” (pointing to himself). Now when Banta Singh comes back to home sweet home, a meeting was called and when he was asked the answer, he said that the “fourth person is Mr.Jhonson”!!'

Anyways jokes apart. I think Sardars r very lively people. I met lot of them in my trip and I heard them making fun of themselves! I was there for just 4 days and in that short span of time I could make 3 frds in the neighborhood. Something which is impossible in a place like Delhi!! I went to Ludhiana to my relatives place mainly because one of my relative was not doing well …so I couldn’t possibly roam about much other than the nearby places … I wanted to go to Amritsar but didn't get time for that. Ludhiana in specific is very famous for hosiery and shoes!! The roads r so wide and neat that it really is a joy ride there! Mainly because they got lot of industries there so I think the transportation is so important that they give importance to roads. In Delhi trucks r allowed only at night I think after 10 or something… but there trucks rule the roads. I didn’t c much of buses too! All the buses there were for inter-state only like from Ludhiana to Patiala or Jalandar etc. etc. but within Ludhiana people use shared auto rikshaw.

Food was another attraction!! The local dhabha’s made tandoori roti… and the tandoori parantas… yummy!!! A big glass of lassi after the roti and dal… simple food but it was mind blowing!! Yeah there r Mc.D and Pizza hut and other resto’s in the malls but still nothing like the dhabha ka khanaa atleast for the tourist! I know coz I traveled nearly 1 hr to reach the dhabha!! The malls r pretty happening place for youth and was really crowded when I went!! I heard a lot about the jalandar university there but didn't get time to check out the campus!! Another thing that practically shocked me (embarrassed too!!) was the fact that girls there don’t really like to wear jeans still… I mean I was carrying my jeans and t-shirts only coz it was a casual trip and I wasn’t sure if I vl get time to visit gurudwara’s and all so I thought salwar kameez wont be needed!! But where ever I went, I found my self the odd one out coz hardly I actually mean hardly 2% of the girls population wore jeans all others were wearing salwar kameez only!! But finally just a day before I left, I got a new set of salwar kameez for myself so that at-lest one day I can be like them. So all my dear friends (for girls) keep in mind that if u r going to Punjab do carry ur salwar kameez!!

~ Broken cage ~

I wrote this poem during my school farewell, year 2005 … my friends say this is my best work! I think they say that coz the situation was so sentimental that they liked it so much. I wrote this with my heart… and when I read this out to my friends, they actually enjoyed each and every word… even the last 2 paragraphs :) School days were the best always!!


~ Broken cage ~


Remembering the lovely past,
The time ran away really fast.
Remembering those gone by days,
A bright future we will now face.

Moving out from school,
Like moving to sea from a pool.
A caged bird left to fly,
In the open and vast sky.

Indeed the protection is lost,
Can’t get it back at any cost.
Work day and night,
To fly far and wide like a kite.

Not repeating past mistake,
Rectify the destined fate.
Search for hidden talents,
Shine like a star in this planet.

Leaving the past behind,
With determination and confidence in mind.
We all will move ahead,
To reach the desired end.

May the almighty up there,
Bless us all ‘love and care’
May he help us stay in sky,
And give us courage to fly high.

I’ll not miss you my friend,
Because I know we will maintain our friendship till the end,
Do keep in touch and send mails,
Of our friendship you are the sails.

This poem is addressed to you,
Because you are one of that very few,
Who will be cherished in my heart,
Of my school life you were an important part.

Dark dayz....

Unspoken words of heart,
Leave distance apart.
Seeds of misunderstanding sown,
Like a banyan it’s grown.

Struggle to express view
Gives out absolutely no clue
What’s going on in the mind
Even the closest cant find!

Depression clouding on and on
Life is so full of thorn
Wishing deeply for spring
To hear the birds sing

Darkness of the day
Got so much to say,
Stars at night
Do shed out their light.

Clutching grudges together
Let it off with big feather
Far away there it goes,
Leaving a fresh bed of rose!

Magic show ;)

This is for u Didi...........



My cousin sis was in 17 and I was 10 when she came to my house for her vacations. I had a fancy for her always and used to revolve around her... she was my world and I adored her. She was/is my role-model and I used to follow her where-so-ever she went. One evening she left for a shop to check her mail… I blinked twice thinking y she is going to a shop to get her mail … as far as I know mails come home or to the post-office… where did a shop come to picture?? But who cared… all I did was to follow her as always. V reached the shop. I saw lotssa computers lined up neatly and the place was pretty crowded. There was a poster outside with the words “Rs.20 per hour”. My sis looked at me and said “u have an ID?” I said “Didi I have 5th class ID card but I vl get my 6th class ID card in a week!” my cousins still repeat this line when ever we meet and I go PINK!!! She paid 40 bugs and made me sit in front of a computer. She opened a game and said “sit and play”!!! play?? Ofcourse I was sitting right next to my sis… my eyes on her computer… lol… couldn’t help that!! She typed “hey I reached Delhi… my small sis behind me as always… they don’t have an internet connection at home so I am in a café.. etc.etc.” there were replies coming in!!! Someone from the other side was typing something and it was displayed in the monitor. MAGIC!! Is someone there sitting behind the computer??? If there is someone, then y not behind my computer??? That game my sis opened was untouched for an hour. I understood that the place am sitting is not a shop, it’s a café.

After a week she had to go again. She tried escaping when I was sleeping but since I was holding her tight, I knew when she moved and she had to take me! Same café but this time I said I vl sit with her so 20 bugs saved, v got ice-cream for that later :) I want to learnt that and I want an ID!!! She clicked internet explorer… I was standing next to her, finger crossed eagerly watching…she typed www.yahoo.com and created my ID!! Wow! I have and ID!!! Then she did that same job as she did a week before. I was lost in my dream world celebrating the fact that I have an ID now!!! Didn’t even bothered to watch that “magic show”. Believe it or not, for two years I didn't knew what to do with that ID but I was rejoicing over the fact that I have an ID!!! I gave my ID to everyone… school friends… cousins… y not! After all I have an ID now.

In a year after the creation of my ID, v got an internet connection at home and an year later when my sis came to my house I proudly announced “Didi u don’t have to go to that café now. V have internet connection at home!”. She asked me if I check my ID. “Check?? But u never said that!!” She blinked and asked what I did with my ID and my stupid answer was “announced to everyone!!”. I bet she would have slapped me for that but she didn’t after all I adored her so much. Where vl she get a fan like me ever again! She couldn’t have possibly lost me u c.. so she taught me to check the ID and when she logged in, she announced that the ID expired! I was in the ocean of tears…. Tears tears everwhere... she said she vl make another one and I was astonished and said “another one! Really Didi.. u mean u can do it? Can u? Oh am so glad. Didi u r the best! Thank u so much.” So my great sis made another ID for me and this time she taught me to check the ID. I mailed her daily from that day and she used to reply daily. Nothing much many times just a hi hello but at least something daily. I announced about this incredible e-mail stuff in school and the fever spread… I created ID for my friends and we all started mailing each other daily that too just after returning home from school where we had spent good 6 hrs together!!

Soon messenger was downloaded and I could do the “magic show” myself!!! I started chatting with my sis of course. Daily morning a good morning message… breakfast details… lunch… school stuff… homework… evening games… xtra curricular… dinner… ice-cream… everything. I could tell her everything and I was glad!! Then one day I came to know about “chat rooms”. Real real bad experiences initially!! Poor me… didn’t knew what is ASL?!!!!!! First question everyone put up… “ASL pls”. Then my sis came to rescue as usual. She gave me a long list of abbreviations that r used for chatting. I sincerely memorized all and then started my chatting session… going on… and on…. And believe me an really thankful to my sis for introducing me to this world. My sis is now married and is in US and she now got a baby boy who is one yr old. She is always online now coz she got a free internet connection there and each day before going to sleep I don’t forget to buzz her and thank her for creating my ID!!!