Daddy's girl !

Letting go - its a whole chapter one has to learn in life and to do it gracefully is an art. I personally have learnt it the hard way but now I have my priorities so crystal clear that it doesn't hurt anymore. I was in middle of work and all of a sudden an old friend calls. One of those friends who has always been there although I couldn't do much for him in return. But then as I opened up with "hey! how have u been?" the voice broke in the other side. It pained. Why good people get hard times and what can we do to help them is something I keep wondering a lot. This friend of mine, sounded helpless after putting his mother in life support. Sometimes very tough situations happens.

Pain of losing parent is hard. I felt it when I signed up for ventilator for my dad. I saw it in my husband's eyes when his mom was diagnosed with cancer. Its like a part of our heart just breaks forever. Its been more than 5 years since I lost Dad... fortunately he got to meet Advik. We were there - me and Advik by his side trying to stop him from going out that day to stay and play with us but god had other plans. He left home saying will be back soon and after 4 days in ICU he couldn't make it. For me, the world came tumbling down to my feet. If not for my husband, I cant imagine living life the way am doing now. He was my dad's decision - he is taking up that role now. 

It wasn't a love marriage for me. My dad told me its the right thing to do and wola! I am happy now. Guys like dear hubby are custom made for people like me to take in so much of drama every single day and still giving back love. He knows am crazy and still loves me and looks out for me. U know the kind of guy with who I need no filters to live with and we are growing stronger 7 years and counting..

If dad could have made it.. he would have certainly pampered the kids especially my baby girl would have gotten things done her way with him. She couldn't get to meet him and she asks me sometimes "amma where is your dad?". I chose not to answer that. I know he is around somewhere. Happy to see me happy. Smiling his way through the heaven seeing the kids grow up each single day. 

Little one turns 5!

Its been a real loooong time and I am so happy to be writing again. These few past years... phew! what a journey... what great adventure... what an amazing reward. It all worked well at last and as my younger baby girl turns 5, I gets chills down my back looking forward to many more adventures with her. She is just like I had always dreamed of.. talkative, sweet, caring and intelligent. Its like all my desires and ambitions stuffed in a dreamy bubbly living doll, blessed with the sweetest of the smiles I had ever seen and the cherry on the cake is her eyes twinkles when she smiles. 

For me, I have been really busy post marriage... adjusting to a new sector of people I was unaware for this long. The warmth and affection I receive from my husband and his family is much much more than my real time expectations. I found a wonderfully understanding life partner who contributes to my personal growth whole heartedly. Having being brought up in northern India, although not fully unaware, I still had a slight resistance to traditional south Indian culture. My partner is brought up in Chennai and more than Love, it was understanding and respect at first sight. We could feel each other's dream and the very thought of pursing it as a team made me feel at home. With him, I found my home. 

My first born is a naughty lad who has got special powers... blessed child, his school calls him a prodigy kid. Well prodigy although is a blessing but with it comes huge huge responsibility on a parent shoulder. As a toddler he learnt some 15 languages and has a proficiency so fluent in English Reading that the little things which "usual kids" enjoy like playing on swings, visiting beach etc. was not "fascinating" enough for him. Now as a parent what do you do? I treat him like a little 2 year old and he doesn't like it. I possibly cant let him go to a library and read for the whole day and receive weird stares from other parents as if I am the torturous witch to make my 2 year old read. Anyways we have crossed those tough roads now and I no more care for his age or more importantly "what will people say?". He is a star in his school and he doesn't care much of the limelight. My daughter on the other hand who is very much 'normal' is in another school so there is no crash of interest.

Its a thing how two babies with same genetic material and similar surroundings can be so vastly different in personalities. Maybe its the gender or maybe play of stars but I do have a handful to deal with here. We are all growing up one step each day and the calmness I feel when the four arms trap me is like a sea breeze in a hot sunny day. Workwise yeah its going good so far. I have a few constraints around my movement - long distance of almost 20km work to home distance, but otherwise its all working well for me so far. Little kids work magic and my talkative daughter can make me smile and rejuvenate me in seconds. I am keeping my blog alive for her sake... for her to understand me better and understand the meaning of all the weird letters I keep writing for her every now and then. I am sure she will end up in my page pretty soon and understand that its ok to make mistakes, but life shouldn't stop. And for my kids to know that I am not perfect but still I am trying and I will be there for them, no matter what.