No I dont wanna complain anymore... I got all that I possibly wanted, so I guess I dont really have the rights to complain? How many actually make through their dreams? I did, so why am I still whining? Is there sumthing terribly wrong with me or I always always wish for the wrong things? But whats so wrong with this? Naaaaaaa.... nothing... nothing really.... But is it really worth all the sacrifices that am making? Wait a minute, am I really sacrificing anything? Whats wrong with me?
Last Wednesday I had a class at 8:50 in the morning. Was watching a movie the other night so couldnt get up early. Mom as usual called up at 7:30 to wake me up but then I disconnected the call as a 'response'... my alarm went 'buzzzzzzzzzz' at 8 n it was snoozed by me for 15 minutes. Atlast when I got up, it was 8:30. Had a quick shower, no time for breakfast and grabbed the cycle n rushed to class. The class quite unusually was damn boring, ah! Vasu sir is one of my favourites, how can I possibly be sleeping in his class sitting in front bench? whatever... after the class had sum work in office, then went to mess for lunch and then again class... when I finally came back to my room at 6 in the eve, I was shocked to see the mess I had created in the morn. Yeah I was in a hurry but then 'gosh! it was really a bad site'.
So tired as I was after the long day, I just threw the bag into one corner, switched on the lappy n played my fav playlist named 'random', threw all the cloths scattered on my bed into the laundry bag and went back to sleep. 'Thak Thak Thak'.... damn! one more enemy of my sleep arrived at the door...
"Ek min!!, am cuming..."
"jaldi khol n khane chal, I have to submit an assignment tmrw"
Ah! that was Chandu, its the same story with everyone here, so I shouldnt be mad at my fate. So there I went off to dinner and from there to the library... and before I realized, it was past 12 and the new day had started.
Its been almost 2 months now since I came here and believe me if i say "A hell lot of things have changed!!!". I dont know if am liking it or not but I guess I dont really have any choice with this. When I was scared about moving out of home, my mom held me close to her and said "we humans have a great quality of adapting to the changing situation and environment. Dont worry, u will get used to." I opened up my arms for the new changes of my life and got ready to face my life all by myself but I dont know y am feeling too lonely and bored today. During my initial days, I used to call up home 5 times a day... gradually the frequency kept reducing and now I call home once in a day and rarely talk for more than 15 minutes. Saturdays and Sundays are devoted to cleaning room and washing cloths and finishing assignments.
Its scary to think that I will be living this same life for a long tenure of 5 to 6 years... I dont know when I will get the leave to go to home... I dont get time to miss anyone, but still I wish they were all here. I dont get time to relish the food, but still I wish I get to eat home food. I dont get time to write much these days, but still I wish that my friends get to read my blogs.
I asked for independence but I dont know from where this loneliness creeped in. Did I really wish for anything wrong? Is my crying and whining by any means justified?
.jpe)
4 comments:
this is the other side of hostel life. at times u r organined like never before next moment its complete mess!!! i have it from 6th standard . see how eligible i m[;)]. mom is right u will get used to it . do i sympathise or i say u to see brighter side of it!! maybe one cant see brighter side all the time otherwise we may not be able to understand importantance of it.
Abey yaar...... U know wat i feel like writing a comment thats y I m posting this.. But again I dunno what to write.. Still I will manage to write much.. as u knw better ki.. meri baatein toh khatam hi nahi hoti hain?? wat say??
Anyways.. yeh loneliness sab na sirf tabhi sochte hain jab koi sad sad sa song sunte hain.. Plz baby change to a better dhink chak song yaar.. and.. hmmm aur kya likhun.. I too miss u.. and.. yeah 5 years bhi nikal jayenge.. U knw wat few days back i was lying down on my bed and realised ki main kitni badi ho gayi hun yaar.. pehle poore bed mein sirf pillow k size ki thi main.. and nw bed chhota lagne laga hai.. pehli baar 22 years mein pata chala ki dude TIME FLIES SOON.. so dontcha worry sweetu 5 years will go like 5 weeks.. sooner.. bas tu ache se padhai kar.. ok..
Dekha.. subbu lands up writing more than expected.. lagta hai blog hi likh diya ho.. comment k place mein.. hehehee.. i knw u wud have enjoyed reading this :)
Hi, First of all sorry for such a late comment as you know that I was going through a bad patch of by life.
Now back to your blog, from class V to X I was at boarding school. I understand how u are feeling. I wont say “ki sab kuch theek ho jayega” but you need to adapt the situation. These hard routine gives a very bad feeling but do not lose yourself. I know you are a hardworking person, life will become simpler with time.
All the best
hey bhagwan sab log sab kuch likh chuke hain.what shld i say now.bas i will tell u that try to develop sum patience in you.everything will be fine but need sum time.take care and all the best
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