Damn !!

No I dont wanna complain anymore... I got all that I possibly wanted, so I guess I dont really have the rights to complain? How many actually make through their dreams? I did, so why am I still whining? Is there sumthing terribly wrong with me or I always always wish for the wrong things? But whats so wrong with this? Naaaaaaa.... nothing... nothing really.... But is it really worth all the sacrifices that am making? Wait a minute, am I really sacrificing anything? Whats wrong with me?

Last Wednesday I had a class at 8:50 in the morning. Was watching a movie the other night so couldnt get up early. Mom as usual called up at 7:30 to wake me up but then I disconnected the call as a 'response'... my alarm went 'buzzzzzzzzzz' at 8 n it was snoozed by me for 15 minutes. Atlast when I got up, it was 8:30. Had a quick shower, no time for breakfast and grabbed the cycle n rushed to class. The class quite unusually was damn boring, ah! Vasu sir is one of my favourites, how can I possibly be sleeping in his class sitting in front bench? whatever... after the class had sum work in office, then went to mess for lunch and then again class... when I finally came back to my room at 6 in the eve, I was shocked to see the mess I had created in the morn. Yeah I was in a hurry but then 'gosh! it was really a bad site'.

So tired as I was after the long day, I just threw the bag into one corner, switched on the lappy n played my fav playlist named 'random', threw all the cloths scattered on my bed into the laundry bag and went back to sleep. 'Thak Thak Thak'.... damn! one more enemy of my sleep arrived at the door...

"Ek min!!, am cuming..."

"jaldi khol n khane chal, I have to submit an assignment tmrw"

Ah! that was Chandu, its the same story with everyone here, so I shouldnt be mad at my fate. So there I went off to dinner and from there to the library... and before I realized, it was past 12 and the new day had started.

Its been almost 2 months now since I came here and believe me if i say "A hell lot of things have changed!!!". I dont know if am liking it or not but I guess I dont really have any choice with this. When I was scared about moving out of home, my mom held me close to her and said "we humans have a great quality of adapting to the changing situation and environment. Dont worry, u will get used to." I opened up my arms for the new changes of my life and got ready to face my life all by myself but I dont know y am feeling too lonely and bored today. During my initial days, I used to call up home 5 times a day... gradually the frequency kept reducing and now I call home once in a day and rarely talk for more than 15 minutes. Saturdays and Sundays are devoted to cleaning room and washing cloths and finishing assignments.

Its scary to think that I will be living this same life for a long tenure of 5 to 6 years... I dont know when I will get the leave to go to home... I dont get time to miss anyone, but still I wish they were all here. I dont get time to relish the food, but still I wish I get to eat home food. I dont get time to write much these days, but still I wish that my friends get to read my blogs.

I asked for independence but I dont know from where this loneliness creeped in. Did I really wish for anything wrong? Is my crying and whining by any means justified?