A walk to Remember.

Following is a letter addressed to the 3 Angels of my life : Ayushi, Ajay and Abhishek



Dear Friends,

Yeh jo Life hai na Life, its a long long long journey which starts with our 'Birth' and ends with our 'Death'. During this journey we pass through various paths, some are smooth and we move fast but sometimes we come across very rough roads and slow down speed. We lose our direction, get lost at-times, get help and guidance, sit down in a corner to relax, ask for lift and do all that is possible to make our journey a success. We met each other coz we walked the same path for sometime. Ur company gave me the strength to move on... my journey became so smooth and interesting that I didnt realise how time flew off..!! But now my path is changed and am moving away from U all.

Today when I left home to come to Department, I thought I will need to walk back home alone. But then u made my last day such a wonderful memory. I know u all expected me to break down and get senti but I didnt wanted that. I wanted u all to remember my smiles and not my tears. U guys are real gems in my possession and have always stood by me. How do u ever expect me to to tell u in few words as to what u mean to me.

Ajay, I have always appretiated ur 'all positive, no negetive' attitude. When ever u feel low, u always call me and am just too glad that I could be of ur help in ur low days. This was one reason why I used to pick ur phone in roaming also coz I knew that u just needed to talk and get motivated urself. U have a great talent in urself that u can keep urself happy. Trust me, this is one of the greatest art of living. To be happy is a very difficult thing and am glad u have a good hand at it. Your best quality is ur caring attitude and I have seen how genuinely u wish for my well being. I know I have been very rude to u sometimes but trust me, that was for ur own good. U took a note of my words and improved urself and that was a great thing. I will always remember ur words 'open eyes, open mind'... u have been really encouraging and never fail to lift up spirits with ur positivity... keep moving ahead. U rock!

Abhishek, I thought today u r gonna cry when u were waving me good bye from metro... we have become so close in this short span of time that our bond (vander-wall) has really strengthened. I remb u said u want to become my 2nd dushman... tab mazaak laga tha but am really gonna miss u a lot. More coz we had spent so much of time together. Every evening when I used to 'walk and talk' with u back to metro station from department, it used to be so refreshing. As if poore din ka chapter close ho gaya and I used to go home so light hearted. U used to listen to all my problems and advice so nicely. I know at-times I have behaved very stubbornly and have ignored ur advices so openly but u know me na... mein thode ziddi category ki hi hoon. U have been a great friend and I know tujhe kitna akela lag raha hoga abhi but yaar this is life, tune hi bola tha na. As u have instructed me, "any small or big problem, I will surely call up even at 2 a.m. I wont get carried away and wont trust others easily. And will try not to cry in front of everyone. Wont do lots of masti, will stay in limits and will concentrate on studies and will be good". U can stop worrying about me and I promise to mail u my updates very very frequently. Kabhi akele feel mat kariyo, am there with u in ur thoughts :)

And I do remember "Mann ka ho toh achha, na ho toh aur bhi achha - Harivansh Rai Bachchan"

Ayu, Today was ur joining and I didnt accompany u in the morning. Reason being, I wanted u to start off this new phase of life independently. But more than lab, u spent the day with me. I know its going to be very tough for u to go to that place without me daily. As u said, its tougher than a breakup. U could have handled that better but this has dropped too hard on u and I completely understand. Jaana hai yaar... ab yahaan mann nahi lagega. It will take u some time, kitna yeh toh mein bhi nahi jaanti but am sure u will get over this. A friend like u is a god's blessing really. Even before I told u, u knew am disturbed and over reacting, hai na? See tabhi toh... its so tough. As I told u once, friendship is when silence between two person becomes comfortable. And as far as our case is concern, am sure we can spend years together sitting silently besides each other. But is this practical? Once ur work starts, u will get so engrossed in it that u wont get so much time to miss me. I know how dedicated u r to ur work. It wont be really so hard when u get work in hand. Dont even think of leaving Ph.D. U will have to do it, for me and for ur family. U r not a coward to think like that and I have huge expectations from u so u better not disappoint me.

Dont worry about me, I will be good there and yeah I will defiinitly keep u updated with even my smallest to smallest troubles. Even agar toothpaste khatam ho gaya toh before going to market, I will inform u. I do remember all ur advices and will try to follow them. No seriously. I know u always feel that I dont listen to u but thats not true, I always do listen yeah but dont implement always. Now toh we have our own respective laptops so staying connected wont be such a huge trouble but for the time factor. Dont miss me much, and make new friends. U still have people around, mere liye kaun hai?

I know how lucky am to have met such wonderful people like u in my life. I know am going a little far from u all but will always stay in touch. Had a great time today and the past 2 years... Go ahead and walk in ur path with head high up. Am sure our paths gonna meet again very soon and we cant help cherishing these moments. Will miss u all.

Lots of love,
One and only,
Shruti :)

All 4 SuccesS !

IIT Delhi or IISc was a tough choice. It was almost like 'family' or 'career'.

Maybe I actually am exaggerating things (like many ppl told me) or maybe am indeed a very very sensitive creature but what ever the fact is, am very disturbed. I have always argued that a human is not a human if he is not sensitive. I felt am killing my own sweet "sentiments" sumthing that I valued a lot. The mental dialogues, the constant questions, the dead line for admission, the "what have u decided" messages, the unwanted advices, the unacknowledged opinions... all were driving me crazy. I needed the time to stop for me. I wanted the world to freeze for sumtime so that I can think. I dont want dead-lines for my thoughts. I wanted to spend as much time with my family as possible and then go and join IISc. I know thats the best for my career and thats a reward for the hardwork that I have put in all these years. I got IISc coz I knew I deserved that. Saying a 'no' would have meant insulting my own labour and that would have been the height of injustice one can do to one self.

I was happy for myself. I appreciated my achievement but couldn't rejoice it. One option would have been so much better. I shortlisted these two out of the many other options I had and that was easy. But after this point, things took wild turns. When I talked to my parents, they left the final decision on me. I remember 5 years back when I was dying to get into a veterinary college, my dad just did not allow me coz I had no veterinary college here in Delhi and now when I secretly wanted him to repeat the history, he had other plans. The ironical part of the whole situation was my dad's phone call early morning on the day of my IISc interview. To my surprise he called and said "I know u r not serious about today's interview. IIT is good but this is the best. Dont joke around. I need u in there."

IISc was solely my decision. Yeah it was dad's push that got me through, u c am habitual of listening to my dad's words. It helped this time. Mom remained silent throughout the picture. She knew my mind and many other cross links. She trusts me and my decisions a lot and never creates hurdles in my life. Bro sumhow intuitively knew well before me, as to what am gonna decide on. He just simply asked me to keep in touch and not to forget to send rakhi every year. But yeah I know he is the one who is gonna miss me like hell. I should have never strengthened this bond with him. He is my life - world - everything and I dont know how am gonna manage without him. Frankly speaking am really feeling very scared as to whats gonna happen.

I remember when I came back home from interview in Bangalore, my little cousin (9th grade) asked me why am upset when the interview had gone well. I said "I don't know how I will live without mom, u c I cant sleep unless she lays down by my side for 10 minutes." He laughed and made fun of me and I realized that am really grown up a hell lot to say those words. Washing cloths is one more problem, I never did that before. When I was working out the hostel life in my mind, I realized the 'princess' life am leading and the unmeasurable amount of love and pampering am receiving. Its certainly gonna be difficult for this princess to step down a little and wash cloths, clean room and eat the cold hostel food. IIT certainly had its own advantages!

Ayu is another precious gem I will be leaving and going. Am so used to her always being there with me that I dont know who is gonna solve my problems next. Am sure I being a poor eater will be very casual with food if she is not around I will end up sleeping empty stomach... damn... y cant every one be as good as her. All my friends are here, I wonder if I wil get any good people there, but it will never be the same thing again. Ah! Delhi... am gonna miss u lots.

The IISc campus was one big attraction, that one place had more trees than cement and the place looks beautiful! It was like a dream where there are benches in the heart of a forest and cold breeze flowing and lifting up the spirits. That place has a charm and lots of positive energy and ofcourse some magnetic powers thats mesmerisingly attractive. I fell in love with that place at the first sight. My department (MRC) had some very fine professors / scientist of the country all doing amazing work! I got a chance to talk to a few of them and each one seemed more down-to-earth and simpler than the other. It was as if the competition is for who is nicer and not for who is bigger. When the acting chairman told my dad "Dont worry, she will be safe here", I dont know about dad but I sure did stopped worrying.

Am all set to leave for Bangalore by this month end. Am happy that I have finally 'decided' on one thing. I know for all this is the right decision and maybe I will learn to handle the emotional storms sooner. I have to grow up like everyone else does and take my responsibility... I just hope things dont get too hard on me. Feeling very good after writing all this down. So badly needed an outburst. At-times like this when I really 'need' to talk, I cant find a better medium than my page. Bangalore, here I come :) :)