Am tired of making mistakes... the impulsiveness which have been the root cause of all the possible problems I have been facing till date, is probably never gonna leave me peacefully. Am frustrated today and trying to correct myself.... yeah.... there is always a first time. I decided to try n accept the wat-so-ever little but still existing flaws in me. The little amplifier in me that causes all the over emotional melodramatic scenes in my head need to be fixed now, high time!
Its been a bad year for me as far as my 'precious' stuffs goes... the beginning of the year I lost the gold chain my grandma gave me that I was so fond of.... then I had an accident and damaged the gold ring that I bought after fascinating about it for so long. And as far as the recent happening goes, I lost my camera which my brother got me for Rakhi just last year...!! Well... 'stuffs' do get replaced but that feeling of losing something so precious... ahhh!! it hurts so badly.
Its not always the 'stuffs' but the emotions attached with it.... as far as the chain n camera goes it was still ok but am feeling low today coz I get a feeling that I have 'lost' something that cant really be replaced. I have lost a friend... who was a precious gem in my possession and on whom I was so proud of. Yeah the old theory of "We are still f.r.i.e.n.d.s is still going on" but then who am I kidding? it somehow never works.... Worst part of this big loss is that the concern person wont even realize whom am talking about... sigh... wat do i say now?
Never in the wildest of my dreams had I imagined that I will ever be needing to search for a replacement of that person, it was meant to be 'Forever' in my head. I still donno where I went wrong... did I over react? I could have. wasn't I clear enough? Probably.... it happens when sumone is over excited. Did I rush things up? ya mayb... could have waited a little longer. I dont know... I dont wanna know... if things had worked out the way I had imagined, then probably today I wouldnt have been thinking all this. I and so so many people associated with my life would have been so happy for me. Oh god! Y did I have to open my mouth? Y did I have to say stuffs... that created so much distance that I cant even begin to bridge the gap.
Its too late now... I dont wanna but I have to give up coz I find myself stuck in that one place. Gotta move... gotta explore... gotta gain new height. Enough is enough. I had enough of this old story... gotta move on. It wont happen till I cut the last thread and am doing it now. Am gonna take a real good care of all my 'Precious' stuffs and am gonna just let go of them if they wanna go....
.jpe)
