I don't understand that if I don't understand myself, how am I ever gonna understand others and make them understand me. No points for guessing that a rush of thoughts is taking up all the space on my head and am frustrated. Though God never gives me a shortage of things to complain and whine about, still every new thing deserves its share of attention, in case it feels ignored!
Am having my share of fun and life is going 'fine' otherwise, but for the few jitters. The usual bad communication and misunderstanding have surfaced yet another time. I thought I left those petty things back in college when I post-graduated but guess, growing up phase is still ON. I don't get the funda of all these 'emotion' kinda stuff. They say its just hormones or yet worst, just a few chemical bonds that plays around with the chemistry of life. Ah! how lame I feel.
Just imagine the size of the universe having million million of creatures and out of the lot, am perhaps just a teeny-tiny spec and whose existence matters to a teeny-tiny little set of people. Still when these damn emotions brings me down, it feels like this whole mighty universe is worthless and its just all about those chemicals that manipulated. Ah! The feeling of being sad... its the worst one ever. Its sometimes good to believe in those times that a superpower exist above this empty space who will take care of the whole situation... the more upset I get, the stronger I believe.
Am not a very strict believer of 'God' and neither am I an atheist, rather I don't have a strong opinion about the whole thing. For me, when am upset or scared about something, believing that someone is there to take care of u, gives Courage. When am in my jolly-good mood, I don't care to take time outta my masti moments to bow my head to someone who May/MayNot exist. I choose the easy way out. For me, festivals are more of eating good stuff and meeting people rather than chanting mantras. Am happy with my flexible beliefs.... its fun too.
The small little mess gang and the 2 hrs per day in mess is genuinely the anti-depression capsule. It works wonders.... !! Ofcourse I feel really lucky to have some precious 'gems' in my life, thanks to the presence of whom, am still dragging on. Its so important to have friends who can tell u that u r wrong in a way that u don't feel bad. I hate it when someone points at my flaws, a fact that I have known like for ever. I know its a terrible attitude, as in everyone makes mistakes, its just that I don't consider myself one of 'them'. Sometimes I take pride of my arrogance and other days I feel terrible about my nature but the golden rule still reads, "My flaws, I know. If you know, kindly don't tell me!"
.jpe)
