In one of my old posts dated June 8, 2009 Guys vs Gals I remember having expressed a very negative ideology towards the concept of 'marriage' and I wrote and meant the following lines whole heatedly "At-times when I imagine myself away from my house, my family, my world... living out there with some god damn stranger... I feel can there really exist some 'heart-less' creature who will be so damn heartless to take me away??!!". This post and in-particular these lines caught a lot of attention and my dear once constantly tried to change my ideas both online and offline.
I have always considered myself very lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful family for myself. And much to the contrast of what I presumed earlier, I didnt really need any 'heart-less' creature to take me away from my paradise. It was the need of the hour, the hunt for a successful life and my very own hard-work that took me away from my house, my family, my world... for my own good. Am happy now, no doubts there. The self made world of mine with my future shining brightly in front of me like a guiding star, with my present like a fortress under construction and with my past like a steady staircase... couldnt have been more perfect.
Am on a vacation now and it feels good to be home. But its not the same thing like I expected it to be. I kinda feel more like a stranger in my own house and less like a part of it. My study room felt nothing like before and there was no trace of my books, yeah I took them all with me but still I didnt expect all of it to be gone. My cupboard had just my winter coats, mufflers and gloves which I left home considering I wont need them in B'lore. Dad actually had to 'make space' for my cloths. I actually had to ask mom for the location of the spices in the kitchen. Ayu had to adjust her schedule to spend time with me, another shocker for me, coz there were never two separate schedules.
When in hostel, there were times when I used to wake up from deep sleep and find myself alone there. I used to tell myself to calm down and assume that am on a holiday and will be going back home soon. Now the reverse assumption sounds more realistic. I realised it last month that the more I resisted 'change' the more dominating it became. My frequency of calling home greatly reduced in the recent past as rightly pointed by my lab mate, Venkat. My friends noticed me talking less of 'Delhi' and wanting to explore more of 'Bangalore'. Unlike earlier where I used to call my relatives to campus, I have started going out of campus to visit my relatives place by myself. Yes! I have finally learned to face the world 'independently' without any strings attached to it.
Subbu, my very old and very good friend told me that ever since I went to hostel, she has been very seriously following my blogs. She says my writings have improved and I have started writing very short n crisp things. I was just so glad to get to hear these words from her coz trust me, she is one of the most straight-forward person who can be so blunt that she can cut ur throat with her tongue. But its her honest and this straight-forward bindass attitude of hers that makes her so special. Its what is in her heart, that comes out of her mouth without any decoratives or accessories attached to it. Love u girl... keep rocking as always.
But am glad that even with time, some things dont change. When I went for a walk in Lodi garden after 4 months, I felt very happy to find familiar faces passing their friendly smiles and enquiring about my absence. The care, affection and concern of the dear once is a very precious treasure one can find. I felt good about the fact that - road side golgappas, haldiram's rajkachodi, U.P.S.E chat, Chandni chowk dahi balla, S.N alu chat, C.P's kachodi, Bengali sweeti's samosa, sadar bazar's bature chole, University's bus stop burger, Nirula's hot chocolate fudge and Golden bakery's pastries - tastes no less than heavens still!! Delhi roads and my dad's generosity in giving the car keys, both have broadened a lot and am loving it. My bro now fights less with me and lets me watch T.V for a longer time, knowing the fact that I dont watch TV in hostel. Mamma is making only my favorites and I am controlling the menu of the house. It is Happy Holidays Indeed ! !
.jpe)
