Wedding bells

They say that any relationship that last for more than 7 years is there to stay forever... well I started to write about a friend I have had for a very long time now... Poles apart in personalities and with absolutely nothing in common... we made it through more than 20 years now. School friends has always been topping my list of priorities and unlike many people, am happy to be still in touch with my old play mates. Although age and time has made it impossible for us to meet as often as we really want to but still we do pull up a few numbers and catch hold of the gang ever once in a while...

Last week I again got to meet a few of my old friends from School. The grand occasion serving as an excuse for us all to meet was that "Archana is getting married!!". When you know someone so well as I know this little troublemaker... just imagining her getting "Married" "married" gave me goosebumps. She told me I was the first one to be informed about this mile-stony event of her life, well I believe her, knowing perfectly well how much I mean to her. I sit back and smile recollecting so many smiles and tears we have shared over the years. From hating her to be nominated as the class monitor in 6th class to scolding her for scoring badly in Maths in 11th class to being grateful to her for helping my brother with his exams, I recollected more memories than I can every write down on a dairy. 

Archana Srinivasan has always been this tom boyish kindda girl who never listened. Over the time of-course as she grew, she learnt it the hard way and I wished life to be simpler for her. From being a topper till mid school to literally flunking in high school, adolescence really took a hard troll on her. I have seen her falling down the success ladder but its her strong will and the strength of her soul which made her climb it back very gracefully. At times when I see my own life taking me for a roller coaster ride, it's examples like these that makes one believe that happiness is just around the corner and never to give up. A very intelligent and beautiful girl... this girl has helped me without even her knowing that she has. I know she is someone I certainly can count on and an occasional short exchange of words is enough for us to know the well being of the other. Here is a lovely card with beautiful words that she gave me on our school farewell day... yep baby... its been 10 years since then!!

Dear Sweet Bride,

        As you step into this new amazing dreamy phase of your life, here is me wishing from the bottom of my heart that all your sorrows run away and may you embrace each day of your life with a big sweet smile. Having you as my friend has been an adventure not meant to be forgotten and we are gonna stick along for many many more years to come. Of-course I will be standing right next to you on your big day all dressed up and wearing that big smile of mine and constantly winking at you... watching you being taken away by the love of your life. I love you toooo yaar.

Good Bye

A deep mystery still unsolved

The more I know you, the more I wanna

This world doesn’t know the real you

Or perhaps its my beautiful illusion.

They cant stop me from living my dream

I cant stop myself from believing it to be true

You are just an ordinary friend

It’s the truth in our feelings that’s holding us

A companion to comfort

A sensitive heart to cry with me

A fun mate to make me smile

That’s all you are, an ordinary friend

Blessed I feel to have you with me

Proudly I look up to you and bow

With persistence by your side

You gonna go a very long way

Dedicated, hardworking, charming guy you are

U know u can make a girl “smile”

Its not gonna be easy to forget

d mesmerizingly awesome moments spent

You will be remembered each time

I get some time to be alone

You will be remembered each time

I get to be with someone.

Life is a journey and the show must go on

Time has come for us to part ways

That’s the beauty of life anyways

Its d pain in pleasures we gotta handle

I have learnt a lot from you

Thanks for making me a better person. 

Dip in the Deep

Its not a perfect world... the one we live in. The idealistic rules simply doesn't apply here... as my new friend Ram, who by the way is a hockey player, told me the other day, "u gotta fight for survival".

I was merely floating with the tides... ups and downs were a part of it when suddenly I felt sinking... down down... I couldn't breath.. it was so heavy.. I felt it pulling me down with all its strength... I hit the bottom. I froze. I opened my eyes and found myself stuck, unable to move.. unable to breath. I thought its the end... I closed my eyes again... murmured my mothers name and asked god to forgive me for all the times when I didn't listen. I could feel the little bubbles of breath escaping from me... taking with them all my hope and strength. I felt weak.. I felt dead. Suddenly a soft voice whispered asking me to give one last try... I decided to do that. I opened my eyes, generated some energy from somewhere... gave a good push and aaaaaaaah!! Yes the sweet air hit me.. I was up on top of this water body that tried to kill me... I saw trees smiling at me.. birds chirping to welcome me back to life.

Some lessons are learnt the hard way... there is no other way out. Good experiences becomes memories and bad once teach lessons. I saved my life and am reborn a better person. I opened my eyes to a new perspective of the Darwin world where there is chaos and uncertainly... rules doesn't work here... its unpredictable, mysterious and the fittest one survives. I decided to make myself strong to survive. Am not gonna reveal the secret of the new found strength but I lost the fear of taking dips in the deep water now... I know I can stand the tides... Common life, its u or me out there. Am not gonna be defeated so easily... its gotta be the right way... its gotta be my way!

Last few months I faced a hell lot of resistance from life.. things just weren't working out. Everything I did.. was wrong. Everything I wished.. was rejected. Everyone I loved.. was hurt. I had no where to go... nothing to look upto... wasn't alone but still felt so lonely. Things just started getting so messed up that I couldn't even start to untangle. I gave up and was building my strength to fight back. I was waiting for the high tide to passby so that I can swim back again... persistence... patience and faith were keeping me up. It was the possibility that kept me going, not the guarantee. What I learnt from this bad terrible phase of my life is...

> Never ever taken anyone for granted.
> The more close u r to someone, the more are the chances of getting hurt from them.
> If they dont wanna listen, they wont listen. Dont waste your time explaining.
> If they wanna go, just let them go. Dont beg them to stay.. its just emotional torture for them then.
> Wait for the right time and never never give up the hope.
> Life isnt a fairy tale but then sometimes dreams do come true.
> The stronger is the bond, the easier it is to break Ego.
> Lie has various flavors, its ok to try it sometimes.
> Relationship dies when communication stops.
> Be true to urself and accept urself.
> One day.. someday... all good things will happen to good people.
> All stories have a The End... earlier the better

Its a Lovestory...

*deep breath*... hmph! I dont know if I will be able to write about what I want to write but I know for sure that I wont be able to write unless I start somewhere. So here it goes... like they say 'boys will be boys', I think more or less even 'girls too will be girls' only. Strong or weak... bold or cowardly... self made or dependent... watever the case maybe with these girls... they all fall for romantic fantasy stories. Dah! Inside every lady is a dreamy little girl who waits for prince charming to rush into her life riding a white horse and sweep her off her feet. I never accepted am one of them. 

All this while when people around me fall in and out of love... talk about their love stories... I would just sympathize with them coz I could just see the pain they are putting them-self through. I ran behind a lot of prince charming myself... aah... wat fun it was. Things never got serious enough to break me down coz I actually never believed in it. I never understood what Vardini meant when she said "JP is my life". I never realized why Susmita is taking such a big risk by "starting from the scratch". I couldn't see what is it that Marsha feels so secured about. I used to consider them all crazy for running behind something that doesn't exist... for believing in something that will ruin them one day... 

But the magic happened to me... now I can see how someone can take the priority over life, how much strength this feeling gives for people to break the tall barriers... how rosy and cool life suddenly becomes and how much happiness this special feeling brings with it. It takes a lot of strength... patience... faith... respect... understanding... care... very heavy words I agree. Am still not there but I  now appreciate people going through all this. They no more look like crazy losers to me, they are the winners who willingly put them-self in pain for the respect and faith they have on 'Love'.

This post is dedicated to Vardini who is my new love guru. I have known about her "boyfriend" for a real long time now.... I have seen her getting upset over little arguments... getting sad over big fights with him... I have seen her calling off and giving up... I used to feel sad for her, thinking why she is putting herself through so much torture managing a long distance relationship. Even when he came to meet her, I didn't acknowledge the smile she had the whole day but I noticed the tears she shed when he left. Somehow I couldn't justify the pain... torture... complication... irritation... blah blah all such negative feelings... but technically love is supposed to be a blessing right? Why does a blessing come with pain? Where is happiness amidst all these tears? Where is peace when there is so much fight going on? 

Never asked her all this but the progress of events gave me my answers. I saw her today looking like a glowing beautiful full moon. Her happiness I could feel in the hug she gave me. Her narration of the events was getting paused frequently coz of the smile she just couldn't hold. The flying angel today got big wings for herself and I know the reason behind this strength. She tempts me to believe in the goodness of love. She made it happen... rather they both made it happen and am just so so happy for the lovely couple. All I wish from the bottom of my heart is for them to stay like this forever... may they keep finding pleasure in pain, smile in tears, friendship in fights.... and last but not the least, home in each other's heart. God Bless them! Touchwood.

gotta grow up fast!

There I go... yep again messed up! Its only days like these now-a-days that I get to hit sum alphabets on this page. I miss this stuff but more than anything I miss the virtue of patience and calming myself down before reacting so fast n stupidly. As always, once again I have ended up hurting people I considered myself closest to... why why on earth do I keep messing up my easy-go-lucky kinda life.

It was almost more than a fortnight since I had "talked" to my mom and she compensated it yesterday by not letting me hang up on her for almost 3 hours. Yep, I actually had to keep her on hold to recharge my mobile. She is probably right, education has not taught me anything. My mental level and my maturity in tackling with problems is still in the same level as it was when I passed out from school. Though at that time she used to consider me over-mature for my age but guess the growth stopped there.  

I have always got this very strong urge to please people and being a cause of others happiness has always filled me up with beaming joy. But then somehow when my head spins, the volcano erupts and the lava always falls on the people staying closest. And by the way, my head always always spins when the word "Change" is forced upon me. There are a certain ways things should go... it gotta be the right way... it gotta be my way. Ya am not made up of rubber spine but then who is? Maybe I am flexible in a non obvious way... I do bend, it just takes a little more time than usual.

Apology doesn't come easy to me. It takes me time to realize my mistake... it takes much longer to accept the realization and it takes me more than a decade to actually act on it. Ya quite towards the egoist side, I agree... and am not liking this particular blog of mine.... somehow its not painting a very good picture of me but trust me, other than these little shortfalls, am very close to being a perfect friend and a perfect person. I like myself anyways and if I do change, maybe I will lose my personal charm.

Anyways apology virgin as I am, I wasnt sure how to apologize, I messed up guys! Big time! I cant ever take my words back but then all I wanna say is I lost it. Dont make me much more of a loser than I am. I love u more than I can ever express and I miss not having you guys around me. I completely understand if u dont wanna talk to me or spend time with me.... but I just wanna you to know that am really truly SORRY.....

Shit happens!

Am tired of making mistakes... the impulsiveness which have been the root cause of all the possible problems I have been facing till date, is probably never gonna leave me peacefully. Am frustrated today and trying to correct myself.... yeah.... there is always a first time. I decided to try n accept the wat-so-ever little but still existing flaws in me. The little amplifier in me that causes all the over emotional melodramatic scenes in my head need to be fixed now, high time!

Its been a bad year for me as far as my 'precious' stuffs goes... the beginning of the year I lost the gold chain my grandma gave me that I was so fond of.... then I had an accident and damaged the gold ring that I bought after fascinating about it for so long. And as far as the recent happening goes, I lost my camera which my brother got me for Rakhi just last year...!! Well... 'stuffs' do get replaced but that feeling of losing something so precious... ahhh!! it hurts so badly.

Its not always the 'stuffs' but the emotions attached with it.... as far as the chain n camera goes it was still ok but am feeling low today coz I get a feeling that I have 'lost' something that cant really be replaced. I have lost a friend... who was a precious gem in my possession and on whom I was so proud of. Yeah the old theory of "We are still f.r.i.e.n.d.s is still going on" but then who am I kidding? it somehow never works.... Worst part of this big loss is that the concern person wont even realize whom am talking about... sigh... wat do i say now?

 Never in the wildest of my dreams had I imagined that I will ever be needing to search for a replacement of that person, it was meant to be 'Forever' in my head. I still donno where I went wrong... did I over react? I could have. wasn't I clear enough? Probably.... it happens when sumone is over excited. Did I rush things up? ya mayb... could have waited a little longer. I dont know... I dont wanna know... if things had worked out the way I had imagined, then probably today I wouldnt have been thinking all this. I and so so many people associated with my life would have been so happy for me.  Oh god! Y did I have to open my mouth? Y did I have to say stuffs... that created so much distance that I cant even begin to bridge the gap. 

Its too late now... I dont wanna but I have to give up coz I find myself stuck in that one place. Gotta move... gotta explore... gotta gain new height. Enough is enough. I had enough of this old story... gotta move on. It wont happen till I cut the last thread and am doing it now. Am gonna take a real good care of all my 'Precious' stuffs and am gonna just let go of them if they wanna go....

Weirdness Unlimited :-O

The journey of life takes us through various paths and the best part of this trip is the opportunity to get to meet and know a variety of people. Of-course, we just click off with a few of them and it just feels right. I have met this character, who defines the word 'weird' for me. A sweet cute "little" Bong girl who just happens to end up doing the 'most simple' thing in the weirdest possible way. The moment she starts off narrating her real life stories, I start preparing myself to end up with a stomachache and watery eyes thanks to the uncontrollable laughter!

This extraterrestrial being is mostly found in places where the human population is scarce. Usually absentminded and unaware of the surroundings, this creature is always seen searching for something on surface of the earth. The usual protocol of smiling at familiar faces is very conveniently ignored under the excuse of "not being able to see" the earthly inhabitants. Eating habits include chewing on cooked animals and vegetables, birds being the preference. Heavy mood swings are not very uncommon and is marked by pretending to be starving and pushing oneself through the "silent phase" where talking is forbidden. The characteristic feature that makes this species vulnerable to constant mockery and challenges its survival in large social groups is 'poor memory'.

It will take a lot of time to narrate the uncountable hilarious incidences that has happened with her so far... but truly she is a blessing for all those who finds it difficult to "change their frown upside down". As her lab-mate Malli once said "bas iski shakal dekhne se hi hasi aajate hai", I doubt if someone will ever disagree to that! Those big innocent eyes always manage to create a soft-corner in the listener's heart and she ends up taking people her way. Her senior Soumitra sure deserves a Nobel prize for keeping "Peace" with her. For Rupesh and Wareed probably she is the best toy their PI could have given for them to play with. All they have to do is key-up and the show begins. For all those who find her engrossed in searching for interesting documentaries, the fact is she is looking for information about her planet. I wish one day Adwait and Anirban are able find out what she is searching for!

On a serious note when she gets to giving serious advices, after a few giggles even I tend to listen. In totality she is a nice combination of... a fun mate, a naughty kid, a bright student, a brilliant artist and a very caring friend (kyun Preeti, wat say?) Be the same Chandu, u urself dont know what a great entertainment package u r. The time that we spend together, is all worth it... its just memories in the making. After all "tumhi din chade, tumhi din dhale.... tumhi ho bandhu, sakha tumhi !!" :D

It's all about Attitude

I don't understand that if I don't understand myself, how am I ever gonna understand others and make them understand me. No points for guessing that a rush of thoughts is taking up all the space on my head and am frustrated. Though God never gives me a shortage of things to complain and whine about, still every new thing deserves its share of attention, in case it feels ignored!

Am having my share of fun and life is going 'fine' otherwise, but for the few jitters. The usual bad communication and misunderstanding have surfaced yet another time. I thought I left those petty things back in college when I post-graduated but guess, growing up phase is still ON. I don't get the funda of all these 'emotion' kinda stuff. They say its just hormones or yet worst, just a few chemical bonds that plays around with the chemistry of life. Ah! how lame I feel. 

Just imagine the size of the universe having million million of creatures and out of the lot, am perhaps just a teeny-tiny spec and whose existence matters to a teeny-tiny little set of people. Still when these damn emotions brings me down, it feels like this whole mighty universe is worthless and its just all about those chemicals that manipulated. Ah! The feeling of being sad... its the worst one ever. Its sometimes good to believe in those times that a superpower exist above this empty space who will take care of the whole situation... the more upset I get, the stronger I believe.

Am not a very strict believer of 'God' and neither am I an atheist, rather I don't have a strong opinion about the whole thing. For me, when am upset or scared about something, believing that someone is there to take care of u, gives Courage. When am in my jolly-good mood, I don't care to take time outta my masti moments to bow my head to someone who May/MayNot exist. I choose the easy way out. For me, festivals are more of eating good stuff and meeting people rather than chanting mantras. Am happy with my flexible beliefs.... its fun too. 

The small little mess gang and the 2 hrs per day in mess is genuinely the anti-depression capsule. It works wonders.... !! Ofcourse I feel really lucky to have some precious 'gems' in my life, thanks to the presence of whom, am still dragging on. Its so important to have friends who can tell u that u r wrong in a way that u don't feel bad. I hate it when someone points at my flaws, a fact that I have known like for ever. I know its a terrible attitude, as in everyone makes mistakes, its just that I don't consider myself one of 'them'. Sometimes I take pride of my arrogance and other days I feel terrible about my nature but the golden rule still reads, "My flaws, I know. If you know, kindly don't tell me!" 

As an year passed by....

My fingers seemed to have been rusted and jammed and so have my thoughts... its been a long time since I had taken out time to write. Sometimes it becomes so difficult to actually pull out time from the 'cobweb of daily chaos' and to do things that were the 'essentials'. "Its like saying you don’t have time to stop for gas because you are too busy driving - Robin Sharma". Am not using this as an excuse for not working on a Monday morning... but its just that its okkk to be lazy sometimes, its okkk to wake up a little late and its okkk to slow down a bit.

As I sat in my hostel balcony last night at 2 a.m watching the small kittens there sleeping peacefully with their mother by the side... I recollected the words my mom said when I was leaving home an year ago. She said we humans have this amazing sense of 'adaptation'. Its been a year of hostel life, though I have visited home thrice in this tenure and dad visited me twice, I kinda got used to this life now. I like the way I have adapted in this new atmosphere and I like all the new things and experiences that has come my way.

Saturday night as my friends were moving from Ashwini guest room to their individual rooms, we had a farewell celebration. It was the mark of a year end for us so I thought of getting them a gift just to convey that they are 'special'. Never expected to have ended tear-eyed while giving that off... things got a little senti that time but I was glad that they liked it. We made soup, ordered pizza, got pastry and played music... a slideshow of the memories of the past year along with the movie 'Zindagi na milege doobara' added the spirit of the celebration. As they truly say, Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.

Today morning Chandu was complaining about not able to sleep in the new room alone and so was Vardhini... isn't it strange how people develop affection and bond so fast. Just a year ago these people were complete strangers and at that time they couldn't sleep coz they missed their initial habitat. When we face changes, we first resist it but then somehow we manage to adapt... but by the time we get used to the new change, another change comes over and demands change! Its just as confusing as it sounds. These people who first seemed so strange and weird (though they are still weird) have become such a vital part of my life now.

I guess this is the best and the worst fact of life... as we grow older we meet new people but then we have to let go of the old ones. Ofcourse in this e-world, staying in touch and recollecting the tiny bits of memory is not a very hard thing to do but still reliving those moments and experiencing those over-whelming emotions is still not possible.

The 'awesome' gang :)

It was an awesome 2 hours I spent with my awesome friends last saturday. To add to the awesomeness was the 'Freska' awesome food.... just in case u didnt notice, am all excited about the 'kung-fu panda-2', so the uncontrolled use of the legendary word 'awesome' may kindly be taken with a pinch of salt. Anyways coming back to the awesome time I had, the reason for the extravagance expenditure (though we dont need any) was the end of the 'course-work era'. It sure did call for the grand celebration, and we arn't fools too ignore such occasions.

Back there after finishing with the usual serious and critical discussions of movies, courses, lab stuff, cloths, crushes, mess, hostel etc. etc. we decided to start counting the best things in IISc that has happened to us so far. Worst things were also a part of the discussion but I dont think its worth putting up here.... for many critical reasons. So coming back to the goody goodies, it was then when I realized that these people with whom am spending this 'awesome' time where I dont miss my home, I dont feel frustrated about work, I dont have stuffs running in my head, I dont need to be something which am not, I could put up my opinion without being judged for that, I could be as ill-mannered and blunt as I can be no-where else in the world.... they are the 'best thing' that has happened to me in IISc.

The kind of life am leading now, was never how I imagined my life in IISc to be. When I left home, I was scared, excited and anxious about the new things am gonna learn... these people made me feel at home but still I never expected this kinda bonding to ever happen. Quoting Preeti's words, "we are like a family now". Maybe that why I dont feel so home-sick anymore. Today they were asking me show some respect to them coz they are elder to me, but trust me, how-so-ever hard I try, I can probably never see them as even a day elder to me. These 'awesome' people are the perfect example of "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional", U know what they have opted for :)

Stating the legendary tale of the birth of this 'evening group' (which no one calls us as) will get very boring so I will run a quick overview of the whole thing. This blog is essentially for my own records so that I dont miss out on the innumerable 'awesome' moments when I sit to tell the story to my children. 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' the T.V. series is perhaps the most important part of the origin of this gang. IISc repo should also be acknowledged for the movie collection (though it could have been better). Some of my favourite event/places/occations will be : malleswaram and mantri mall; nite chit chats in gymkhana and main building; tea-board visits; guitar and swimming lessons; ghar aaja pardesi; exhausist; Vardini's hindi; My bengali lessons; looking for orion; doubles cycling; eating out every weekend; discussing MM; going for shopppppppping; uncontrollable laughter in mess; world cup final; the round-round cycling; and many many more which I dont recollect now... and much much more to come... Just a word of thanks to these 'awesome' people for entering my life and making my stay in IISc so 'awesome' and memorable. Words are not the best way to express emotions but they are still better than being silent.

Heard the familiar tune.....

It starts from the eyes... travels all the way down to the dear hearty and affects the top commander. Growing up is certainly a very complicated task to do. I pretended to stop myself, but never really tried sincerely. My initial hesitant 'secret stares' have now change to a 'shameless open eyed look'. I dont care the presence of 100 more people around me, the one face gets all the attention. I laugh at myself but still consider it an achievement.

It started out on the fun side. More than anything else, it was an act that was making me to stick to mess food and was cutting down on the expenses. The few glances were making it possible to gobble up the nothing-to-eat (sometimes literally) food. It gave my brain a new occupation, to find out some details of the concerned subject and to bring out the sleeping 'Nancy Drew' within me. The more I learnt, the more I wanted to. It is now a constant topic of discussion in my group and U bet my friends are getting really pissed off with this topic, essentially because they see no 'future' here.


When I was small, I learnt this proverb "think before u leap". This is one of my ever favourites and these words are litterally embedded in my heart. I think so so damn hard that each time I decide with taking the leap, I will get back to the thinking part and the process goes on. Its hard to tell when am gonna take the leap, or rather, If am ever gonna take a leap.... U c.... am still thinking. Its good to take risks sometimes but then am a little too protective about myself.

No two people can ever be fully compatible and if am to look for someone just like me, I need to end up settling up with my own reflection (which wil be left-handed, unlike me). But when the differences reach the level of language, culture and eating habits, I dont think it will be the best decision to go for it. But sometimes there are no choices. As of now am going with the flow and having my share of fun. It 'feels good' and thats what I feel is important for me now. I got a new reason to stick to this place, to eat the food in the mess and something to look forward to. Let optimism rock and if it doesnt work, there is always a "Better luck next time" ;)

Change is a Rule.

In one of my old posts dated June 8, 2009 Guys vs Gals I remember having expressed a very negative ideology towards the concept of 'marriage' and I wrote and meant the following lines whole heatedly "At-times when I imagine myself away from my house, my family, my world... living out there with some god damn stranger... I feel can there really exist some 'heart-less' creature who will be so damn heartless to take me away??!!". This post and in-particular these lines caught a lot of attention and my dear once constantly tried to change my ideas both online and offline.

I have always considered myself very lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful family for myself. And much to the contrast of what I presumed earlier, I didnt really need any 'heart-less' creature to take me away from my paradise. It was the need of the hour, the hunt for a successful life and my very own hard-work that took me away from my house, my family, my world... for my own good. Am happy now, no doubts there. The self made world of mine with my future shining brightly in front of me like a guiding star, with my present like a fortress under construction and with my past like a steady staircase... couldnt have been more perfect.

Am on a vacation now and it feels good to be home. But its not the same thing like I expected it to be. I kinda feel more like a stranger in my own house and less like a part of it. My study room felt nothing like before and there was no trace of my books, yeah I took them all with me but still I didnt expect all of it to be gone. My cupboard had just my winter coats, mufflers and gloves which I left home considering I wont need them in B'lore. Dad actually had to 'make space' for my cloths. I actually had to ask mom for the location of the spices in the kitchen. Ayu had to adjust her schedule to spend time with me, another shocker for me, coz there were never two separate schedules.

When in hostel, there were times when I used to wake up from deep sleep and find myself alone there. I used to tell myself to calm down and assume that am on a holiday and will be going back home soon. Now the reverse assumption sounds more realistic. I realised it last month that the more I resisted 'change' the more dominating it became. My frequency of calling home greatly reduced in the recent past as rightly pointed by my lab mate, Venkat. My friends noticed me talking less of 'Delhi' and wanting to explore more of 'Bangalore'. Unlike earlier where I used to call my relatives to campus, I have started going out of campus to visit my relatives place by myself. Yes! I have finally learned to face the world 'independently' without any strings attached to it.

Subbu, my very old and very good friend told me that ever since I went to hostel, she has been very seriously following my blogs. She says my writings have improved and I have started writing very short n crisp things. I was just so glad to get to hear these words from her coz trust me, she is one of the most straight-forward person who can be so blunt that she can cut ur throat with her tongue. But its her honest and this straight-forward bindass attitude of hers that makes her so special. Its what is in her heart, that comes out of her mouth without any decoratives or accessories attached to it. Love u girl... keep rocking as always.

But am glad that even with time, some things dont change. When I went for a walk in Lodi garden after 4 months, I felt very happy to find familiar faces passing their friendly smiles and enquiring about my absence. The care, affection and concern of the dear once is a very precious treasure one can find. I felt good about the fact that - road side golgappas, haldiram's rajkachodi, U.P.S.E chat, Chandni chowk dahi balla, S.N alu chat, C.P's kachodi, Bengali sweeti's samosa, sadar bazar's bature chole, University's bus stop burger, Nirula's hot chocolate fudge and Golden bakery's pastries - tastes no less than heavens still!! Delhi roads and my dad's generosity in giving the car keys, both have broadened a lot and am loving it. My bro now fights less with me and lets me watch T.V for a longer time, knowing the fact that I dont watch TV in hostel. Mamma is making only my favorites and I am controlling the menu of the house. It is Happy Holidays Indeed ! !

Life is a blessing...

We have been taught from kinder garden to appretiate the small things in life and to always compare oneself with those who are less previlaged than us and to feel good about our status and position in life. But some lessons are learnt not from books but by the "real" experiences of life. Probably this is the reason why it used to be so facinating to listen to Grandma's stories coz they come out of "real" world and their philosophy is far more realistic and acceptable than some of the crap in books....

Am sitting in the balcony of my room... I have finally been shifed to a hostel room (was put up in a guest house before). This new room is really really awesome! The best part of it being the sit-out in the balcony. This is my "thinking place" and a little paradise in itself. Bro gifted me this huge teddy-bear which I call "Eddy-Teddy" for my room and am living a very comfortable life out here. The mess food though some-times boring, still is quite good and they try to be innovative and give real weird flavours of ice-creams at-times. My lab is one of the bests of IISc with an amazing supervisor who says "no for nothing". Have gotten real time good friends here and the fun n masti that we do, is inspiring me to write a novel on.

It was an usual saturday afternoon last week when I had been pulled out of bed by my stupid friends at 5:45 coz the tea time in mess is (4:30 to 6). Very half heartedly and with a heavy head I managed to reach the mess constantly cursing my stupid but very caring friends. There we went to our favourite corner near the window and I was gradually coming outta my sleep hangover when I found 4 children looking at us from the window. Must have been the children of the mess workers, I thought. They noticed me noticing them and asked me to pass them bread. Before I could react, Chandu went and got them a pile of bread with jam on top of it. They were happy and ran away.

This incident ignited a spark and a heated arguement began on 'how good was that act'? I didnt understand 'what is bad there'. This is what we have always been taught right, to help the poor. After all its just a matter of a few slices of bread, something which is available in mess everytime and no one touches it. But different people have different perspective and it takes no time for a discussion to take a turn to arguement with things moving from east to west to north to south. People feared these kids will get to this bad habit of begging for their food and will start disturbing and irritating other people in mess. There are days when we ourself are so busy that we just get time to slip in one sip of tea n rush back, who got the time to even pass on that one single bread.

I never saw those children near the mess again, I dont know what happened. But then isnt it sad that there r children who really really are so miserable. I on the other hand, doing nothing but just studing am earning a handful and living a very comfortable life. Trust me if I say my new room is big enough to accomodate a poor family of 4 members. If I really start looking down at people who are lower in status and position than me, am afraid I will start feeling so chocked and guilty that I wont be able to enjoy an ounce of my life.

All I can say is that am just happy that my life is like the way I wanted it. I have a family back there who have been really supportive of my decisions and dont fail to push me to greater heights. I have friends who truely honestly deserve and fit in all the millions and trillions of definition of the word 'friends'. I have been under such fine superwising eyes that their inspiration and words of wisdom are more than enought for this birth of mine and last but not the least, the dear almighty who perhaps is really very fond of me :)