Officially am not supposed to be celebrating any festival this year coz of my Grandma's death but when it came to holi @ college, there is nothing official about it. Mom didnt sound too convinced when I informed her about my holi plans a week before, so I decided to underplay the whole scene this time. Bought colours well in advance and hid it in bag. Since friday was the last working day in college, after which our one week long mid-sem break started, we decided to play holi on friday.
We had planned a little party sorts before playing so everyone was supposed to be getting some 'goodies' to eat. Since am the only South-Indian in our gang, I wanted to get something typical. After some heavy thoughts, I decided on to 'kunuku' (dal-ka-pakoda as my friends later called it). I got up 5 in the morning to make it. When mom woke up and found me in kitchen, she passed me her typical suspicious look. I said I got a msg late at night and didnt get enough time to inform. I noticed when I lie, my hands tremble. It was almost 7:30 when I got done with the food packing and then rushed to get ready to go to college. Took a change dress and carefully slipped it into the bag.
We just had 2 morning lectures after which classes were suspended coz of the 'flower show' in the university. We got free by 11 and attacked on the Foooood!! There was lots of variety - bread pakoda, golden balls (made of suji), bread roll, dahi vada, petha, alu-paratha, dal-ka-pakoda and of course Gujiya! After we had filled our tummies, it was time to fill our hearts. We rushed to get our gulal packets and made a mess in the class running around and colouring each other. All shouting "happy holi","happy holi" and there was red, green and yellow all over the place. Sunny brought rose petals for Namrata and when he poured his love on her, there was this huge hooting!! It was so loud that the 'cleaning women' came and shooed us out of the class room. We then went out to the corridor to play.
Ayu took out her 'pakka colours' mixed it with water and got set to attack. First victim - her best friend, me ;) When she went to attack Savita, she was on phone dealing with her 'hitler' dad and got a little cross over Ayu for colouring her. This impulsive temperament of these two people did create friction and the whole plan was about to get flopped. At-times when two friends fight, it becomes very difficult for the gang to take sides! But thanks to the good old phrase "bura na mano, holi hai", things got into control soon and then started the whole splashing and running and attacking sessions. Come one, Come all... the gang was expanding slowly...
Guys on bike went to buy more and more colour. People emptying their water bottles on each others head.The 'guys' kinda holi was wild. WILD thats the word. Girls were still decent. People had a tough time managing their specks and mobile phones. Bags were nicely kept in a corner though library would have been a safer place but the guard out there said "iss halat mein anadar nahi jaa saktee". After we got a bit tired, we all started posing for photographs. There was this journalist from 'Dainik jagran' who was giving us situations to pose for and made us waste lots of gulal by throwing them in air for his photographs. There was dancing and clapping and singing. Since we couldnt manage a music player and we ourself had to sing, the song started and stopped at one line "rang barse bhege chunar wale rang barse". But even that tit-bit was fun.
After we had no energy left in us to continue further and the dried colors started irritating the skin, we decided to call off the celebrations. Went to the wash room to get cleaned. Savita had brought 'Lux' soap and there we started the rubbing and washing session. There were dialogs like "idhar kar" ,"udhar kar", "yaar yeh kese jaayega", "mein ghar kese jaoongi"!! After the cleaning up session, we moved on to see the 'flower show'. But we were all too tired to really 'enjoy' that. Few of us sat down and few others went to buy a few small stuffs. But at the end of the day when we were dispersing to our respective houses, we realized how much we all enjoyed the day.
P.S. This post is dedicated to two friends of mine - Ajay and Abhishek, who got promoted from being my 'friend' to 'good friend' after they started following my blog. I know you both are waiting for this post of mine, hope it stands to ur expectations!
Its been almost 2 weeks since 3rd sem results are out, but still my department has not yet fully recovered. My results, much more than my expectations!! Seriously, this time every exam was a mess. I was under such a bad phase of life during the exam days that I had stopped expecting anything out of myself. But yeah sum incidents in life make my belief in God go stronger. I scored 80% this time. Cheese!!
Am not writing this to boast about my marks, rather I have a thought in my head which is disturbing me for the past two weeks. I was in bus going back home when I got to know my results thru sms. Next day morning when I was passing my million dollar smile to my classmates, it hurted me to receive back tears. I could find many gloomy faces, disappointment and sadness dropping from eyelids, people giving lectures on positive thinking, encouraging each other to face the world boldly and to move forward, people promising themselves that they will do well next time. Ayushi and Savita were busy consoling and saying "sab theek ho jayega". I couldn't do that. I stood alone in a corner, watching the whole scenario and crying softly.
I don't understand how can I go to sumone with 50% aggregate and say "sab theek ho jayega", when I just cant c and understand "sab theek kese hoga?". I don't understand how can I ask a person to smile when they have scored so low. I don't understand how can I celebrate my good marks when my near-n-dear once are sad. I tried to stay away from all these discussions. When such sensitive topics starts, I always prefer isolation. I don't like and just cant see anyone crying. It makes me feel very low. I forgot all about my happiness and got very disturbed.
That day in lab when I was working with my circuit, Mung came. He was working sitting next to me when he congratulated me for my results. When I asked him, he said his aggregate is 30%. I froze for a second. He didn't notice and continued his talk. He said "When I was doing my graduation, I was the topper in my university. That time when my brother used to score less, I used to tell him to study. But now I realize, sumtimes one doesn't score well even if he studies". I put my circuit down and looked at him. He stopped his work, looked at me and said "Shru... when u become a professor and u c that a student has not scored well, don't think he is not studying". tap... tap... tap... there my precious tears which I was holding on since morning finally started falling. Mung tried to stop me and he felt bad thinking he has hurt me. But that's not true. 'He' didn't hurt me, its sumthing else that has actually hurt me. And I still have not figured out what it is.
Next day for the morning 10 o'clk lecture, I was a little late so missed out on the first bench. Though I could have managed a seat in the front rows, I took this as a chance to go and sit in the last bench. Incidentally, Mung came and sat next to me and said "Probably its the first time in this sem that u r sitting in the last bench". My mental dialogue "Its the first time in my whole life that am sitting in the last bench"! I noticed many things sitting from there. Firstly, its very difficult to concentrate on the lecture when ur neighbor is busy pressing the keypad of mobile phone constantly or eating lunch or discussing the blue eye-shadow with blue jeans! I tried my best to concentrate on the 'green-board' but I noticed that when u don't c the writings on the board so clearly from the last seat, a certain level of frustration develops which doesn't let a person enjoy the lectures. Sitting in the first bench, I used to get lost during lectures and it used to feel like sir is taking a private tuition for me. But when u r on the last bench and u c 200 heads in front of u, all shaking and doing all the possible acts, one sure gets distracted.
After the lecture got over, I shared my observations with my friends (d frontbenchers) I got to hear arguments like "y don't those ppl interact with us", "we never deny for notes", "y don't they ask sir to write boldly if they cant c", etc. etc. "Those ppl" here refers to the backbenchers. I noticed that a 'class' is broadly divided into two groups, the frontbenchers and the backbenchers. I realized its very easy for the frontbenchers to ask doubts coz they see only 'sir' in front of them while for the backbenchers, they see 'sir' after crossing 200 heads and that makes their life tougher.
Yeah but one thing I don't understand yet, y do people sit in the backbench when they want to score like the frontbenchers!
It was an usual lunch break in college last year when we came to know from Namrata that she is gonna get married next year. ‘Next Year’ sounded so far that time… even a month ago, we were having fun teasing her with the count down of days… didn’t really realize that this smart looking easy-going girl is actuallygonna get ‘Married!!’
She being the first in the group to be entering the new life, was handling things really maturely and calmly. We, being kid at heart were jumping around her like little tad-poles. The day she showed her "would be's" pic in the lab, half the group went flattttttttt !! Every corner of the lab was murmuring, "How lucky". n there were giggles n laughs all over the place. That was a day ! She has taken a leave for almost 2 weeks from the college and when it was the day for us to see her off, we all hugged her one by one and wished her luck.
Her marriage was yday and we were all invited for the occasion but since the venue wasn't so easily accessible by all and since not everybody got the permission to attend the wedding at night, we decided to attend the morning ceremony. We were instructed by her to 'reach' her house by 11. Since it was a group of 9 girls all scattered across Delhi, we decided to meet at the metro station near her place sharp at '11'. Me and Ayu, the ever punctual reached 10 min before time. Neha and Sonum joined us within 15 min and they were coming directly from the college after attending a 'lecture'. Studious people, yeah!! Megha and Savita joined in shortly and then started the make up and touch up session (in front of the metro exit gate!!!!). Yes d act did invite many unwanted and unacknowledged stares but then we were all too busy and excited to bother for such things. Eyeliner, lipstick, gloss, comb... all passing on from one hand to other and all taking extra efforts to make sure that everyone looked good! Our touch-up session ended when Smita, Bharti and Shalini finally joined us and we all set to move to the 'brides house'
Megha
Bharti Smita
Ayushi Savita Shalini Sonam Neha
On reaching her house, we got a very warm welcome from her and her family. Her little cousin was allotted the duty to stand at the door and say “namaste”… the cute little girl had a tough time blushing sheepishly and receiving the crowd of crazy giggling girls!! Namrata looked happy and as calm as ever with those lovely mehron-golden beaded ‘kalereen’ hanging from her hand.We all got a welcome hug from her and then shifted to her room to chit chat with her. Thanks to the time we spent out-side the metro station, we had missed the ceremony she had invited us for! But never-the-less, we knew we had much more to do there than attend ceremony.
We were giggling around, eating bread-pakoda and discussing all the possible topics that was coming to our head when we heard the 'dhol' noise and Shalini announced that she knows how to play the 'dhol'. Bravo! what more can we want. We moved out of the brides room taking her along with us, sat in a circle and Shalini started playing the Dhol. Megha after a little pressure and pleading done by us, agreed to sing. That was some fun. We made a circle around the bride and there was dancing and singing and dhol and ofcourse lots of comments and giggling. It was sure sure Fun !! And one could hear "mazaa aa gaya" every second minute from some one or the other. After we all got tired and sat down, the family members continued with their rituals and went out for a ceremony called 'ghardoli'.
We preferred to stay back with our friend and asked her about how it 'feels' to get married. There was sum kinda mixed emotions in her eyes. She was happy for sure, for the new life... she was excited but yeah was nervous too. But we switched over the topic realizing the fact that we are there to lighten up the atmosphere and not to make it heavier! It was a little funny when she enquired how the final year project is shaping up and how many classes she has missed. But with Auyshi around, she needn't really worry about the missing class notes! When her relatives came back, we all got ready to leave when her parents madeus wait for lunch. Namrata got busy with her other rituals and we started planning to watch 'my name is khan' next week. Soon the lunch was served and we went for it in sub-groups (sharing plates) so that we don't make much of a mess there. After the yummy food, it was time for us to leave after giving her our heart-felt wishes!!
Every moment spent was enjoyable and cherishable. It was the first time I had attended a 'friend' wedding. As compared to cousin's or family friend's or neighbor's wedding, a friend's wedding is sure much more enjoyable. This day will stay as a very happy memory of our college life in all our hearts. When we all parted off from the metro station, we exchanged the invitations for our own wedding... ofcourse invitations have been sent out without the slightest clue of whats in store for us in our future... but if things really go as planned, it would actually be so much Fun!
This is gonna be a very very special post for me, reason being this is my 50th post here. Ah! My blog page... am the proud owner of this page... Feels so good!!
As the new year starts off... am feeling a little nostalgic. With vacations on and nothing purposeful to do, my thoughts are all clinched to the past, reminding me of all the small mistakes to big blunders I have made, from all the little good things to the major achievements I have received, from all the thick friends to all the unforgettable foes I have gained... Yes! there r definitely two sides of every coin!
They say "A person grows up the day he has a real laugh at himself"... I realized I have enuf reasons to laugh at myself, guess am grown up now! The process of growing up has always been a fascination for me. I always craved to archived a perfection in that act for which I make resolutions every year and at the end of the year when I open my diary to the first day, I pass myself a proud smile. That is how it goes for me, every year. The resolutions are nothing too great, just the small little things. Last year I had resolved to b regular in blogging and to post at-least 1 post every month. U can c for urself, I did it! Last year I had resolved that my mobile bill wont exceed Rs.100, and it never did. Though I do resolve not to cry every year, there actually hasn't passed a single month when I don't shed tear. Resolutions are made... some make it to last stage, some gets broken soon, some are made to be broken and some are just forgotten.... Still they r all so special !
This year, I have resolved not to make any resolutions. This New Year gonna be seen with a new outlook... am going in for a 'change'. Though I had always hated that word 'change' but there comes a stage in every one's life when things get too monotonous. Am quite tired of my life coz its missing that 'sumthing'! My life has ever been very smooth and clear. I archive my goals coz I work too damn hard. I never give myself a chance to fail but I realize this 'over protection' has in a way deprived me of sum of the failures which might have made me stronger. Am so used to victories that even small disappointments drive me to a hyper state of depression. Am looking forward to this year hoping to receive failures my way. I really wanna experience that. I wanna see how much of 'bad things' I can tolerate. I wanna see myself breaking down... am tired of the simple life, time for sum thing more challenging and 'interesting'.
Though it sounds a little vague when I say "don't wish me good luck, wish me bad luck", but I really really wanna experience that. There is just one life a person gets and they say one should enjoy it to fullest. Its never a surprise when I find my name in the toppers list, neither does it ever surprise those who get the news. Its like a routine these days. Come to think of it, I know I start studying for my final sem exam since the first day so there isn't anything surprising when I top. Surprise will be when I don't top even after studying so much or when I do top without studying so much. The first category will be a painful act so I wont wish for that but yeah if the second thing happens, then that's sumthing! I don't know how its gonna work but yeah mayb I can try a new outlook for one sem at-least. After all, this last sem is gonna be the last phase of my academic career. I will b stepping a professional life in the mid of the year, so y not take a chance?
Change is always for the better, right?? Lets see....
Wish u all a very happy and satisfactory New Year !!!
This new friend of mine has awarded me with the honorable "No Name Award". This being my first award is very close to my heart... a friendship starting with an award, guess long way to go!!
Oh! I have so many people to thank (a customary dialogue, read in hell lot of blogs). The almighty up there who has blessed me with enough patience to tolerate the torture my modem creates by disconnecting every 10 mins, my parents who have given me enough independence to blabber any damn thing here and not peeping in to check what all I write, my friends who consistently get bugged by me and under such forceful circumstances do drop in comments and ofcourse my fellow bloggers whose constant comments and encouragments has been a source of inspiration and has always boosted up my spirits.
After all that formal stuff, lets get back to business. There are certain rules associated with this award. The rules are:
* List 7 things about yourself that nobody knows.
* Pass on this award to 7 other people.
* Comment on thier blog and let them know that they are tagged.
Here goes the Tag...
1) I love my dad much much much more than Mom... though Mom is a better friend!
2) Just a few seconds before you read this, my email password was 'password'
3) I wanna buy a scooty with my first stipend.
4) I never wanna look good coz it attracts nasty looks and I hate it !
5) I value three things the most - time, money and words. Nothing of it is ever spent without calculations ;)
6) My ultimate dream is to be a writer :)
7) I drive car bare foot, I just dont have the confidence when my shoes are on.
So as the rule goes, I need to tag 7 fellow bloggers.
Neha : http://idontlykblogging.blogspot.com/ (wake up girl !!!)
Karthick : http://karthickspeaks.blogspot.com/ (do it buddy!)
Adisha : http://adiws3.blogspot.com/ (U been lost for a long time now!)
Angel : http://cutestangel.wordpress.com/ (Take it up girl! its fun!!)
Jack : http://niceguy251.blogspot.com/ (would love to know ur secrets)
Gopsay : http://gopal1993.blogspot.com/ (Dint visit u for long. wil do it soon)
Siva : http://hamactor.wordpress.com/ (new blog uh?)
It sure hurts when 'others' prove u wrong but I speak out of my own experience that it hurts more when ur own conscience proves u wrong. Every person is answerable to their own guilt, its just the capacity to hang on with the guilt, that varies from person to person. Guess, this is what differentiates the 'strong' and the 'weak' personality.
Given this criteria, I for sure am weak. Am so protective about myself that I never let myself do things outside the fixed set of rules am living with. I call it discipline, many call it punishment.
I never understood why ppl find it so difficult to believe that am actually living my life very happily and satisfactorily. If my definition of 'fun and happiness' doesn't tally with others, then will that mean am not enjoying? Hello !! Firstly I don't understand y I need to give an account of my way of living to others? Ok fine, even if I relax that a bit and say am answerable to my near and dear's coz they have a concern on me, still I cant c my life from their point of view right?
I don't like watching TV aimlessly for hours together, I don't like to waste my time lazying around day dreaming, I don't like chit chatting on phone for hours together, I don't like the worried look in my mom's face when I get late, I don't like to eat junks from road side, I don't like to pile up my wardrobe for the heck of it, I don't like to cheat, I don't like to hurt others, I don't like to lie, I don't want to get drunk, I don't wanna try drugs, I don't want to party a day before exam, I don't like to neglect my family, I certainly never wanna mocker my teachers, and the list goes on....
Is it too crumbled and twisted when I say 'I DON'T' like these things. Y is it so difficult for others to believe that am actually speaking from my heart. Am no hypocrite who wanna sell herself. If ppl don't like me, they r free to move away, am not holding on to anyone. But then what is so difficult in it to understand? Ofcourse its irritating when I listen to the phrase 'U don't live ur life'. And I have till now heard it in more than 20 voices, more than 50 times!!
What is happiness for me? Well... it is when I reap the rewards for my hard work. The minute I see my mark-sheet, I forget about all the boredom and pain I felt during the preparation period. I always choose the longer but safe routes, no short-cuts for me please. Happiness is when u enjoy what u r doing... when u know y u r doing this? what u will gain with that act? whats the purpose of this task? I always associate such questions to every doing of mine, right from blinking to eating. There has to be a logic behind every step I take. I need answers, I ask questions. I kinda love these mental dialogues which keep buzzing in every second and every second dialogue sounds 'worth blogging' to me. But yeah I need to take out time to sit and type all those. Long live blogger world! Such a lovely medium to pour down thoughts.
Ah! Well... I am feeling a little low on life. No 'one' particular reason as such, just that some unplanned/out-of-the box incidents has shaken up the smooth sailing boat of my life. Why is it that things don't work the way I want it to? How did I got so weak on my emotions that I couldn't figure out what am doing? 'I' the head-strong girl who always stood by her plans, who could always discriminate the right n wrong things, who so proudly used to say 'I don't do the wrong things'... I hated seeing myself going so weak.
No I haven't committed a crime to be feeling so guilty about. Am not feeling guilty about my act but am feeling bad about the 'wrong timing'. "I didn't want it at this time" that was what I said right after telling HIM those 3 words....!! Well yeah!!
Don't scroll down expecting a filmy love-story... sorry to disappoint you but nothing interesting is cooking up. I didn't convey that to get to hear the sweet-nothings from him. Rather very frankly speaking, I don't know why I did that. But as if that was not all, I didn't even try to get to know the response. How damn idiotic! You know what, I feel like shouting at myself "Get a hold girl! what are you upto?" n very unfortunately, I don't have an answer to that question. Its not in my hands. Damn! What have I done!
So now that I have messed up my life good enough to be trying to resolve things, I have decided not to let myself go low. Time for some positive thinking n to 'feel good'. What has happened, is past and past cant be remade. So now, how to feel good? I have seen people doing weird acts when they go low. Ayushi generally 'eats' like a mini monster when she feels low. Seriously, she can eat anything to everything during her off moods. But that never works for me. Rather I personally lose interest in eating during my low time but yeah I get on to cooking n I cook exceptionally well during my off-moods. The worst the mood is, the better the food is :)
My general golden rule during such days will be to take so much of work in hand that I get no time to even 'feel' low. But I realized that when I do that, am in a way punishing myself for no good reason. Rather in general people take a break during such time. But a break at this time with semester exams on head and entrance exams to give? Doesn't sound like a good idea right? So then what else can I do? Yeah listening to peppy music did help but that was very short-lived. I changed all the retro sad songs in my play-list with unbearable loud rock music, but that's only causing me a headache and doing no good.
My mom have this bad habit of whining and crying during her mood offs but I don't like to dramatize and seek attention so I don't do that. Dad generally go out (donno where exactly) but am too lazy n low in confidence to roam about alone so I cant even do that. Bro watches those stupid cricket matches or cartoons in TV the whole day when ever he feels low but am not a TV person, rather if am to be precise, I hardly watch TV for 10 min a day in general. One of my cousin used to take up the car and go on drive when upset. But am too miserly a person to waste money on petrol for such stupid reason. I have seen people crying out on phone to friends... well... I don't feel like doing that too.
Though am absolutely normal while talking with my friends and during all other activities but still I feel something from inside is pulling me down to stop... think... and to get a hold of things. I feel like talking and discussing the matter in a brighter light but then am not sure if it will untangle the maze or will make the scenario worst. As of now, I cant say am sad. No am not sad or disappointed but am just feeling a little low. I have always felt that these emotions, sentiments... all such humanly feelings bring down the net efficiency of doing work. If I were not a human, I would have been so much more efficient than what am now.
Oh! I started diverting from the topic. So I was to feel good right? Nirula's hot chocolate fudge didn't do its magic on me n neither are the long walks helping. Books seems to have lost charm and PJ's don't tickle my humor cells anymore. I have stopped passing on my sweet smile and look lost these days. My 'sparkling' eyes look so dull that I don't stand in front of the mirror. Am trying my level best to boost up my spirits and working hard to feel good. Tried the 'look good, feel good' policy but that too in vain. Blogging was my last option so am looking onto it. Guess am tending towards depression but I cant let myself go down.
I bet I wont be sounding so low in my next blog post. I will cheer up myself. Please put in ur feel good factors and I will sure try them out for myself.
Am getting a 'welcome back home' kinda feeling while seeing my dashboard after almost 20 days. After three consecutive non-stop week of hectic schedule, I finally decided to take a day off tomorrow, essentially coz "am too tired" n sick of my routine now. Though I feel very guilty when I bunk classes or take leaves but this time I have managed to convince myself very well that I do honestly deserve at least a day off.
The new session i.e. the final year of my 'studies' started last month. I was to choose a specialization subject n I opted for my ever favorite 'electronics'. Though I had always found electronics lab much more challenging n interesting that all the other labs, the initial days in my Electronics (final) lab was making me regret my choice. Unlike the earlier labs where we used to work in pairs n were given full liberty to choose our partners, here we are supposed to work in a "group" of 6, with absolutely no liberty to choose partners. By god's grace n with constant pleading, our professors agreed to keep me n Ayushi in one group... cheesee!!!
The basic requirement in a group as per our 'laboratory norms' is its heterogeneity @ marks, @ gender, @ discipline, @ responsibility... etc. etc.!! My group consist of 3 girls n 3 boys... I wil b introducing them one by one but believe me the first word that I said when I found out my group's content was "OMG!!" I had always enjoyed group work n I know I can easily bind with people coz I personally love to analyze everyone which in turn, helps me in understanding them. Of course by virtue of habit, I tend to dominate n don't trust anyone easily which creates slight friction when I get into this group work business but since I know my weak points, this time I decided to work on them.
Let me now introduce u to my group people, now my friends!! Oh by the way, after a series of discussions n arguments n wastage of time, we have named our group "Trouble Shooters" n the biggest trouble shooter is Ajay, our group leader. There doesn't pass a single hour when Ayu n Ajay don't fight. These two r like Tom n Jerry n doesn't need 'reason' to fight... any damn thing will work wonders!! I personally love the brain war I have with Ajay when he tries to act over smart n I will be trying to pull him down to ground. But we both have no personal grudges n adore each others thoughts, though ours doesn't match. Best part with Ajay will be when I will be giving him instructions as in "what to do" "what not to do" "what to ask others to do" n stuff n he will be nodding his head heavily in all possible directions n I will be wondering sarcastically "Group leader, ah?"
Next one to come in picture will be 'Gin Suan Mung'... no am not talking french neither is it a spelling mistake, thats the name of a flirt guy in the group who asks me "Shru, can I sing for u"... well... he sings well!!! Singing is something which I get to hear from him daily but he is sumone who doesn't mind dancing in the lab n will always make sure that I pass a smile when I will be in my 'hyper tension' state. A very sweet guy who always makes stupid excuses when it will be his turn to go n fill everyone's water-bottle. Then there is Punit who always stays in invisible mode but got such a strong luck line that the very minute sir asks for him, suddenly he will appear from the middle of no where. A guy whose concepts are crystal clear, very outward who talks about 'treat' n 'food' all the time but finishes his 'part' of work, neither little extra, nor little less.
The girl left other than Me n Ayu is Meenakshi... a nice girl who works really hard. Very punctual who will make sure that she announces her departure to each n every corner of the lab... her departure event will take 30 minutes from her n at-last she will realize that everyone but for her has left the lab. Stays a little lost n confused n will come to me giving me an expression of "am totally messed up"!! N when I give her simple solution, she will give an expression of "am so confused"... then I will giv her a short councilling session n she will get boosted up n will get back to work. Ayu of course, my bestest friend as usual always charming who asks me to mind my own work n not to waste my time doing others work. Who will come to me shouting "learn to say no!!"
In nut-shell my initial expression of "OMG" has changed its meaning in this one month... now I say, OMG such lovely group. All 6 of us have now understood each other n don't mind the cross talks. Ajay don't mind when I tell him "U got no brains!" n neither did Mung get hurt when he asked me to accompany him to football finals n I said "I have better things to do". Meenakshi doesn't seem to get offended when I de-solder her 3 hour job n ask her to do it again teaching her how to do it properly. We joke together, dance together, literally run around in lab chasing each other to fight, discuss each n everything we learn, exchange notes, blah blah!!
My extended one week birthday celebration was thrilling with such friends around. Oh by the way last month 27th August was my birthday n I have turned 21 now. I so badly wanted to blog but just couldn't squeeze out time. But these friends will b my best birthday gift. We have made certain rules to be followed which includes 'party after finishing each experiment'... n Mung n me r gonna dance ;)
New friends into the kitty always makes me feel so lucky !!!
All those days when I used to hang on online, full time available to chit-chat.... all those days when I used to clean up house for no particular reason... all those days when I used to cook dinner coz 'I felt like'... all those days when I used to cribble about getting bored... all those days when I aimlessly used to refresh my GMail inbox hoping for sum email to read... all those days when I used to just 'click click' on blog, from one profile to another to another to another.... all those days when I wished for the college to reopen n to get sum purposeful thing to do.... well all those days have become 'history' now!
Now my days break open at 6 with my mobile singing "Aashayeen (Iqbal)". Then hurriedly wishing everyone a good morning with a confused look wondering if mine wilbe the same... brushing teeth whilechecking the bag to see if all the notes r there, recollecting who took the statistical note yday, the particle physics note? Oh! where has this electronics note gone now... boy! wat a start of the day.... recollecting who all to be reminded to return the notes n there starts the early morn sms session. "Bring the falanafalana note".
Mom will be shouting from the kitchen, "what do u want for the lunch?" n my usual reply "any damn thing mom, who got the time to eat it?" but still I wonder y she asks me daily...!! So where was I? Yeah brushing teeth... oh done with it now... time for the morn booster dose, my hot cup of filter coffee... nooo no time to say "hmmmm" just sip sip n get going. Some pending assignments wil b lying there in the table n I wil get glued to it n before I wil realise, dad will come knocking the study door n reminding me its past 7. Wat? 7 soo soon.... I got up an hour earlier, no use... y cant time stop for me to finish up with this last question. I wonder how come I always get stuck to the 'last question' when dad calls... anyways no time to think, I better rush to have a bath. No splash splash games like I used to do in vacations... just pour the bucket of water over the head n move.
Daddy... where is the red kurta I asked u to press yday... Oh my black jeans, who put it for wash without asking me? My hanky? socks? shoes? I aksed u ppl so many times not to touch my things!!! Its 7:30 already...!! Bhai put my mobile on charger.... err... no better wil b to put the charger in my bag... err... no u dont touch my bag, u will take away my red pen... err... ok u better put the charger in my bag but dont take away my red pen... err... wait, I wil do it myself. Okk so what is left? Oh breakfast! Mooooooom... where is my corn flakes?? Oh btw what is thr for lunch today? Dadddy... pls keep the water bottle in my bag n check my purse, I guess its empty.
"tringtring" Ohh... Ayushi's miss call... this girl always leaves 5 min before. Its 7:45, I ask her to leave at 7:50 daily... watever... let her wait, I still have my shoes to put on. Mayb the socks I can wear in bus... bye mom! bye dad! bye bro! There I finally leave my "home sweet home" n rush to the bus stop where I need to wait 5 min for the bus n I would be wishing I had used that 5 min to finish my 'last question'. There to interruptmy thinking process, the buswilarrive n Ayushiwil wake me up. After changing 2 buses I reach college by 8:50 to book the first seat, n me n Ayushi will exchange big smiles as if we have won some award... thats how we feel when we 'finally' reach colg.
There the 1st lecturer wil arrive sharp at 9 n wil leave around 10:05. The 2nd lecturer wilb cross on the 1st one for over-shooting the time n as a revenge will take class till 11:10 whichin turn will annoy the 3rd lecturer n he will leave us at 12:15. Boy! 12:00 to 12:15 was the official 'lunch' time. Now u wil get y I said "no time for lunch". Sharp at 12:15 we have to report in the lab, which will go on till 4:15 n mind u, 4:15 is the official closing time but the faculty 'expects' us to drag on... n we do drag on coz there is actually so much work! So what-ever time we r done with the lab, we sigh wishing the 'home' to come to us so that we can relax for sum time... but then "if wishes were horses, beggars would ride them". After a few exchange of sympathetic words, we would all bid good bye to each other.
I generally reach home by 6. Wash my face, drink water, get changed to my tracks n tees n off for a walk. Am purposely maintaining the walk schedule coz I really feel relaxed that 1 hour. It rejuvenates the energy n I feel very fresh with that act. When I come back, I dont really get time to sit with my family to give them the details of what all is happening... rather its been quite a long time I 'talked' to them properly... coz the moment I come back from walk, its time for a bath n then with a bag loaded with assignments, I get to work. Honestly, I feel very bad am not able to spend time with some of the 'most imp' people in my life. But I dont feel like 'talking' with pending work in head. Its only around 11/12 when I finish off with studies that I feel free, but then they would have all slept by then so I would just check up mails, reply to those few n sleep off.
I miss the blogger stuff... being so long I read anybodies. Once upon a time, it was my best pastime but now I hardly get time to 'pass'...!! Today I got holiday after almost 15 days coz I am attending coaching classes for my CSIR-NET exam during weekends which r equally as long as college classes... so today being the Independence day, I had decided to give my self some Independence with the daily routine n sit to blog. But since morn, I couldn't get the freedom to do so. Had so much to study... but yeah, today eve I spent sum quality time with my family giving them my updates n I even apologized for almost 'ignoring' them so badly these days... but they understand.
Guys am sorry I didnt quite get enough time to check up anybodies blog. But I wil make sure I read all the pending post as soon as I squeeze out some time. Life is Hectic!!!
Well.. Am a little reseved and shy kindda girl! Sweet and simple too.. lol.. A girl who donno wat gives her satisfaction but goes on searching for satisfaction but is never ever satisfied!! Am pretty sensitive and emotional too and do suffer a lot coz of this!! Frds never ever come to me in their bad daz coz I vl b the one crying b4 they start off... Very impatient.. restless.. nervous! Gets worried very easily .. and got a very bad temper too.. can b a bit boring sometimes but as such am bearable.. never think b4 speaking but very soon realizes that things have messed up!! Oh yeah am blessed with a poor sence of humor and very poor english so u gotta tolerate the spelling mistakes here :)
P.S. This was written in 2006. I didnt bother to update. Trust me, I have grown up since....
.jpe)
